Jelena Knight

Chapter 26

JelenaKnight: Hey guys, it's Jelena Knight here. I'm just popping on here to wish you all well. Lately I have been receiving a lot of hate comments due to the first outfit that I wore at the super concert which was organised by the Fenty twins. The first look was definitely not my strongest look and I personally did not like it but the truth is, the outfit that I wanted did not arrive in time so I literally had to just grab anything. As a fashion icon, it is saddening to hear that people weren't impressed with my look. I do have other outfits but unfortunately I can't show you the good ones just yet because I am planning my own tour. Anyways, just be kind and smile today.

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I broke up with Michael today and my heart is hurting. Since he has been away filming, I have had the time to think about our future together. Michael wants to experience that married with kids life and I just can't give him that.

I don't mind getting married but I am unable to be a mother. It was really hard to break that down to him because I know what he is like. He would have gave up that dream to be with me but I know that he would have been miserable in the long run.

I wanted to tell him that I can't have children but I couldn't. I haven't really processed the news myself and I'm mentally not in a good place.

Michael deserves a woman who will love him unconditionally and will give him children. Unfortunately, I am not that woman.

Cristiano Ronaldo called me and we spoke for twenty minutes. We haven't seen eachother since that day we sped down the streets of Miami. He is trying to persuade me to come down to Portugal so that he can show me a new racetrack. If that put my mind to peace then I may just take him up on the offer.

After I spoke with Cristiano, I called Gia and we had an hour long conversation. I felt bad for blowing her off so I apologised and we were able to become friends. Breaking up with Michael just made me want to apologise to everybody so I called Terrence and Lance to address the reasons why things ended the way they did.

Lance was a total bitch so I hung up on him. 

Never in my life have I felt so vulnerable and I don't know how to feel. It's a weird feeling for me and I've just been putting my pen to paper, writing out new songs.

Why not make money off these feelings of mine?

If this is what heartbreak feels like then maybe I need to go through it some more because these songs are bangers. I've even scheduled an online conference with my Knight Fashion team to rebrand our online website. 

I want to make a big comeback in the digital magazine world. I want to start having digital series online for everyone, allowing them to all get involved. 

I want to be better.

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JelenaKnight: Strawberry Milkshake.

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I have not eaten at McDonalds since I was twenty six so when Angela brought it up, I wasn't really feeling it but I agreed to go. I used to enjoy eating McDonalds from time to time but when the money started coming in, I found better places to eat at.

Once we arrived, I only ordered a strawberry milkshake while Angela got herself a big mac meal to go. 

"I can't believe that you gave Michael up." Angela gives me a look. I gave her the brief version of my sucky love life. "The black community about to snatch him up."

"They can have him." I shrug my shoulders. "I just want him to have somebody who will love him wholeheartedly and give him the life that he deserves."

"Awee Jelena, you do have a heart." Angela says before she lets out a cackle.

"I'm not a cold hearted bitch." 

"That's debatable." She cuts me off. "You are stunning but you do have these ice cold eyes which make me feel as if you're about to kill a bitch."

I just laugh at her words.

I do appear cold but I don't really care since I'm a millionaire, being the way I am has led me to becoming a very successful entrepreneur, singer and tv personality.

"If you don't want kids, then what do you want from a guy?" Angela asks as we sit outside on the bench with my security surrounding us. I don't usually go out with security unless I am promoting something or I really need them but it is 11pm and LA tends to get crazy around this time.

"I want someone to love and accept me for who I am."

"Then why give up Michael when you had that?" Angela gives me a look before she starts stuffing her face with fries.

"Because Michael wants kids and I don't." I lie as I rub my lips together. "I really thought about it and I just don't have the desire to have them. My biological clock has never ticked and I think this is all down to the fact that I didn't have that loving childhood. I never met biological parents and they never reached out to me. I was raised by someone who could have been my grandmother then I was fostered by some rich guy who just wanted to show me off."

"Damn." She licks her lips. "That must suck."

"I never had family so I don't want that myself because I don't know what it is." I take a long sip of my milkshake.

"What about your girls?" I raise a brow at her. "Jada, Ramira, Rihanna, Teyana and the bunch."

"The group is a mess." I answer honestly. "There is always some beef going on and along the way, I find out that somebody has a problem with me. The biggest issue is that I am white woman who likes to date black men, Teyana really went ham on my ass about me being a culture vulture."

"But weren't you the one putting your girls on when they weren't being given attention?" Angela kisses her teeth. "That's so whack, I hate bitches like that."

"I just don't like that anytime the group fights, someone comes at me for being white." I shake my head. "I never feel accepted anywhere and it feels as if I'm being used to make these bitches famous."

"Fuck 'em." Angela says as she takes a big bite of her big mac. "Damn, this is good. You want some?"

"No thanks."

"My only advice would be just to do you." She swallows her food. "Everyone's been hating on me for being a stripper, for having two kids with two different men and whatever. Everyone stays hating on me and as long as it doesn't affect my money, I really don't give a shit. You're a good woman Jelena and I hope that you will see that one day."