Hey Brother (One Chicago)

24- It's normal

"So have you made your decision?" Jay asks me, I'm currently sat at his desk seen as mine is now belonging to Rojas. Voight had told me that Meyer is leaving intelligence later this week, to go and work in Springfield. Apparently he doesn't like the whole detective thing and would much rather be a uniformed officer. I don't blame him, working in intelligence definitely hasn't been the best for me either.

"I don't know, I've really missed being here. I just..." I trail off, he knows exactly what I'm feeling. I'm just so scared that something will happen again. I've been able to reflect over the past month and I've decided that I'm stronger than I think. But it's still a big decision, my whole future literally rides on this one choice.

"You've still got the rest of the week to decide. I'm just glad you're back here now" he says, a smile on his face. The rest of the week consists of me coming in to intelligence to visit the others. It's nice to have a bit of normality in my life. I still haven't spoken properly to anyone about how I'm feeling, it's just so difficult.

Yesterday Daniel officially moved in with me, he had been here all week anyway so he was practically already living here. It was just kind of a spur of the moment thing. He had made me feel so 'normal' and had never once asked me to talk about what had happened. I remember appreciating this so much, he was the only person who was focusing on the future. Like I want to.

I had spoken to Voight yesterday too, I told him how I wanted to come back to intelligence. After all I had loved doing what I did in intelligence, helping others. I had always been able to feel like I'd achieved something in life. After every tough case I would remember the feeling that I was able to bring justice to another victim. I was able to be a shoulder to cry on. I had made a difference in this fucked up world that we live in.

"You ate my strawberries. Daniel I'm going to kill you" I say, as I open the fridge. The strawberries have been opened and I certainly wasn't the one to open them.

"I only had one." Daniel says, trying to defend his actions. He holds his hands up in defence, realising he's been busted. "Okay maybe I had two"

"You're digging your hole deeper Miller" I say, trying my best not to laugh at him. But failing very quickly.

"One day you'll let me eat the strawberries, and that day will be the best day of my life."

"Besides the day you met me of course"

"Hmm, maybe" he jokes. I playfully jab him. "Unfortunately there are fires and people stuck in elevators that I need to be saving."

"I have criminals to be catching too" I reply, feeling a mix of emotions at my statement. I'm happy that I get to go back to work, where I belong. But I'm also incredibly scared that I'm going to mess up. Daniel can pick up on this and has been reassuring me about it all morning. Although he wasn't sure about me starting at intelligence in the first place, he knows how happy it made me. And he keeps saying that I'm good at it.

"Maybe one day we'll have a criminal in a fire, then you'll get to show me how good you really are."

"Maybe one day you'll be able to show me how you carry the people out of the fire. How do you not drop them?"

"You just keep quiet when you do drop them and then no one will ever know" he laughs, taking a bite of his toast. "Now I have a firehouse to be getting to. Don't miss me too much."

"I miss you already" I huff, not wanting him to leave. He's got the early morning shifts this week so he has to leave the flat before me. He puts on his shoes and grabs his bag from the counter.

"Try not to have too much fun catching criminals" he says, grabbing his keys. "I love you"

"Love you too" I reply, he places a soft kiss on my lips. Then he turns towards the door.