[Sorry about not including pics of characters for those who didn't played Dark Souls 3, but I couldn't find most of GMod models to make one big picture and I don't want to spam four pics in a row]
Y/N sat on his portable throne placed in meeting room.
"Ladies" He looked at his left where Havel, Tarkus, Siegward, Leonhard, two Black Knights, and Andre were sitting.
"Gentelman" He looked at his right where Firekeeper, Hawkwood, Friede, and Yuria were.
"I'll keep this short, we're here to go and kick some ass. Any questions?" Y/N looked around.
"Why I'm sitting with women?" Hawkwood raised his hand "I didn't say anything about this before, but--"
"It's not like I think you're a pussy or anything, but keep up the good work. Any more question..." Y/N looked at others, but Hawkwood raised his hand again "What is it this time?"
"With all due respect my lord, but can we point you down if you die in a stupid way?" Hawkwood said with sadistic tone and everyone looked at him.
"Eradicate..." Yuria stood up and pulled out her katana, but Y/N stopped her.
"Hawkwood..." Y/N said with menacing tone "The only reason why you still live is because I need two bolters for your kind of heresy, so be kind enough to shut the..."
He was cut of by long and loud snoring coming from Siegward.
"Did he just fell asleep?"
"Um..." Black Knight pointed under the table "I think he passed out"
"Why did he passed out..." Y/N looked under the table and saw whole pile of empty bottles under it "Oh, come on! When the hell did he managed to drink that mu--"
This time he was cut off by long sniff. He quickly looked at others and noticed that Andre's nose was covered in white powder.
"Andre..." Y/N said with annoyed tone.
"What, can't an old blacksmith have a blast from time to time?" Andre chuckled.
"You're out" Y/N gestured for him to leave "I'm not bringing drunk and high people into a slaughter, no matter how fun that idea sounds like. Is anyone else high or drunk?"
Fredie and Leonhard raised their hands.
"What the hell did you take?" Y/N looked into their eyes.
"Abyssal weed" Fredie answered and pulled a suspicious looking dark joint.
"Oh for f*ck sake! First Meth Sage, now Manus!" Y/N facepalmed "I'm going to shove his M into his anus for not giving me free samples!"
"My lord, I have to admit something..." Leonhard said with dramatic tone "...I'm high on love with Rosaria's thighs!"
"What..."
"Oh, the beauty of being sandwiched between her massive, blob thighs!" Leonhard completely lost it to the shock of everyone "The angelic beauty of her is something that makes my Leon hard!..."
"Who the hell I am working with?" Y/N hid his face in hands while Leonhard continued "Hawkwood, put his lights out"
"With pleasure, my lord" Hawkwood said with a smile and stood up.
"Not to mention her... Wait, what are you doing--" Leonhard looked at approaching Hawkwood, right before his vision was obstructed by a fist and he was knocked out cold.
"Fredie, go back to your world. Black Knights, drag Siegward to his room and come back here. Hawkwood, dump Leonhard into random closet and get high with Andre or something" Y/N ordered.
Black Knights grabbed the Siegward and dragged him out, Fredie jumped through the window, and Hawkwood dragged out Leonhard while Andre was eyeing his ass.
"Does anyone have any questions or confessions to make?" Y/N looked at everyone with tired look and Fire Keeper raised her hand "What is it?"
"Can I join the fight and kill one of the enemy in the most brutal way possible?" Fire Keeper casually said.
"Excuse me, can you repeat that?" Y/N asked, fully confused.
"Can I join the fight and kill one of the enemy in the most brutal way possible?"
"Did I hear that right?" Y/N looked at Havel that nodded, and he looked back at Fire Keeper "What the hell did you smoked?"
"Oh, it's not like that" Fire Keeper blushed "I recently bought Mortal Kombat and I started wondering how a real person would look like if I break all of her limbs, caused internal bleeding, rip off their spine and hang their soul on it"
Sirris and Yuria moved their chairs away from her, while Y/N stared at her with his jaw open.
"I'll... Consider your request" Y/N said after a while.
"Thank you my lord" Fire Keeper smiled.
"Anyway... Let's get back to the topic" Y/N regained his composure "Yuria, gather the black knights and teleport them inside facility. Tarkus, get the gigantic, lightning worm from smoldering lake and make few holes in their facility. Sirris, go tell Pontiff to go on a very enthusiastic walk and go with Fire Keeper for some ice cream. Havel, get the Midir"
"Can I throw him into tentacle pit after we're done?" Havel asked with sadistic tone.
"No" Y/N quickly answered "And I need the decryption code. You know what I'm talking about?"
"Yeah, yeah" Havel let out disappointed sights "I'll send you the code after this is over"
"Also, don't kill two people. One is a b*th named Ellen, and one is my friend that we're trying to rescue, Tohka. I'll later send you the pics" Y/N said and looked at Tarkus "Tarkus, don't you dare to kill civil--"
Hardbass suddenly blasted from Tarkus helmet.
"I'M SORRY MY LORD, BUT I COULDN'T HEAR WHAT YOU SAID" Tarkus shouted out.
"TARKUS!" Y/N shouted at him "TURN THAT SH*T OFF!"
"I'M SORRY, BUT MY HELMET IS MALFUNCTIONING!" Tarkus stood up and walked towards the doors "I'LL GET IT FIXED AND JOIN THE ASSAULT!"
"Sometimes, I can't tell if this is comedy or tragedy..."
YOU ARE READING
Date A Invader (Badass Male reader x Date a Live)
FanfictionAfter being killed by angry pilot, Y/N landed in the Abyss and meet Four Kings of the Abyss. They made deal with him and reincarnated to Date A Live universe where Shido is genderbended and he accidently took away her powers of sealing spirits. So n...
