27. The many faces of regret.

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Long after Dylan had put an abrupt end to their evening, Lucas mused about his memories of the week in Cortina..

Five years ago.

Over the years it had developed as a 'family outing', at least if you could use that description. Lucas had always armed himself against such terms because his heart simply could not bear it. Their arrival was as expected and he had been looking forward to the variety of activities that Robert had planned. After settling into the spacious suite, the boys ran down to take advantage of the excellent facilities.
"We won't see them again until dinner," Dylan remarked with a laugh.
Lucas nodded, smiling. "That's a good thing because that's how we have our hands free."
Dylan took him lightly frowning. "Why do I get the idea that you're even more excited than usual this year?"
Caught Lucas looking at the floor. "Madeleine and Robert held a lot of meetings in the house. That's how I got to know a lot of their plans. I'm very curious about how it turned out."

Although no word of this was a lie, Lucas had an alternative reason why he carried a warm heart for the festival. Cortina was all about Natalie for Lucas. This was the place where she met Dylan. This was the place where they were married. Lucas felt a warm sympathy for the woman who had given birth to Jacob and loved Dylan. Her departure from this world had been as involuntary as his sister's. His connection to Natalie had deepened when he found out that her parents had died at a young age and she had been raised by her grandparents.

"Don't let me be the one to stop you," Dylan shaded. "I'll see you at dinner."
Lucas gratefully nodded at him. At a speed that could rival those of the boys, he left the suite.
Filled with pride and overt admiration he looked around the resort. Although starting small, the festival had grown over the years into a large event. Writers of all levels and categories gathered here. The attendees at the festival wouldn't know what was so special about this year's party and this was fine because actually it was a very personal anniversary.

Dylan hadn't spoken a word about it, but it was exactly 20 years ago tomorrow that he had met Natalie. Lucas thought this was too important a moment to pass untouched, so he called Natalie's grandparents and arranged for them to come along for the day. After a successful first day in which everything seemed to go well, he looked forward to the moment when he was able to reveal his surprise for Dylan and Jacob. He was sure Noah would be happy, too. Jacques and Aurelie DuPont had welcomed him into the family with open arms, and he called them grandma and grandpa.

What exactly went wrong remained a mystery to him. Even after five years, he had no idea why Dylan, after a very cosy and successful dinner with Natalie's grandparents, had dived into the pub. It was well past midnight when he got a call from the hotel bar asking him to pick up Dylan. After a quick check on Jacob and Noah, who were both sleeping comfortably, he went down with mixed feelings. The hotel bar was seen the late hour sparsely lit and Lucas struggled to distinguish Dylan from the thrifty guests present. Reluctantly, he approached the bar.
"I got a call," he said to the bartender who came to him.
The man took him in a surprised laugh. "So you're Honey?"
Lucas nodded frowning.
The man touted his lips and hesitated before he spoke. "I don't know what he did, but he's obviously sorry."
Silently, he shoved Dylan's phone over the counter.
"How much do I owe you?" asked Lucas searching his pockets for cash.
"The bill has already been paid."
He followed the barkeeper's direction pointing to a sparsely lit corner. There he found Dylan lying sprawled on the couch. He struggled to wake him to the point that they could walk to the elevator together. Dylan leaned heavily on him and as inappropriate as it was, he enjoyed the intimate contact. The smell of his cologne stroked his nose. Smelling his absolutely favorite scent on Dylan's warm skin did the situation absolutely no good.

By the time they had almost arrived at their suite, he had reached his limit. Dylan had done nothing but rub himself against him. Consciously or unconsciously, he didn't know, but nevertheless the action did not leave him unbothered. Be honest; He was only a man of flesh and blood. If the subject of your adolescent fantasies suddenly stands in front of you and openly desires your advances, how could you refuse?! Lucas picked up the man and wondered if he could let him go to open the door to the suite. Pressing him against the wall with one hand, he pulled the card out of his pocket and stuck it in the door lock. As cautious as possible, they moved together through the spacious suite to his room, which was furthest from the boys' bedroom. Their desire to share a room came out very well.
"Where are the boys?" asked Dylan, laboriously.
"No one will see you in this state," Lucas assured him. "I took you to my room."

Given his physical reaction that was now clearly visible, he took a big step back. Dylan, who had to seek support from the wall, looked at him indignantly.
"Hey, don't just walk away from me. I need you."
Lucas reluctantly put an arm around Dylan's waist and helped him to the bed. "Always so cocky", he heard Dylan muttering.
"I hope you're talking about yourself now, stubborn ass," Lucas said grunting with the effort. Dylan leaned against him with his whole weight.
Arriving at the bed, he let go of his load. Dylan's grip around his shoulder pulled him down unexpectedly. What surprised Lucas the most was that Dylan ended up on top of him.
'That didn't happen all by itself,' flashed through him.

"Why are you always so cool to me? You're laughing at everyone but me."
Lucas stared open-mouthed at the man who looked down on him in reproach. "Seriously?! Dylan Stone-Knight, Mr. Freeze, accuses me of cool behavior?!" Incredulously, he tried to push the body away from him, but it didn't give in. Because of his struggle, Dylan nestled his lower body between his spread legs. He gasped at the feeling of intimate contact.
"What do I have to do to keep you with me tonight?"
The boundless vulnerability in the gray eyes took his breath away more than the sustained contact with his crotch. "Let me take care of you," escaped him in a hoarse voice.
Where Dylan could still hide behind drunkenness, his motives were open and exposed. Unable to refuse him, he surrendered to Dylan, who continued to lower himself and greedily devoured his lips. Although Dylan tried several times to continue further, Lucas drew a line and stuck to it. The deep connection he felt now was too vulnerable to throw away at something as fleeting as physical pleasure.

Waking up in his arms was a memory he would never forget. Lucas was awake long before Dylan and enjoyed the forbidden sense of intimacy. It reminded him of the way Jacob used to sleep in his arms. A helpless creature, desperate for warmth and affection. For now, they lay safely and undisturbed in each other's arms. When Dylan suddenly stirred, he had to do his best not to tense up. Gray eyes scanned him hesitantly. Internally, he warded himself for the rejection that would no doubt follow. He cringed at the sight of the regret and shame he read in Dylan's eyes. Purely out of self-preservation, he got out of bed.

"It's still early days, but I'll check just to make sure the road to your room is clear." Despite his attempts to be nonchalant, his words sounded bitter and full of reproach. A surprised scream escaped him when Dylan wrapped his arms around him and pulled him back into the bed. Hot lips moved sensually over his.
"I probably have terrible morning breath," Dylan gasped after the super-deep kiss, "but I don't care. I didn't wake up in the wrong bed this morning."
A hot blush spread across the cheeks of Lucas who almost succumbed to Dylan's intense gaze.
"I am seriously prepared to see where this leads. I hope you agree with me when I say I'd rather do this without the boys' knowledge."
It was only after a slightly irritated tap that Lucas emerged from his trance. "Yes. It's better to keep them out of the loop for now," he nodded, letting his hands slide freely over Dylan's hips.

When this one did not shift, he shook his head in a surprised way. "You don't happen to be on a strange kind of drugs or something?"
Dylan grinned broadly. "No, Honey. I am sober, clean and completely willing to enter into a new kind of relationship with you." Thoughtfully, he slid to the right and lay down next to Lucas. "There is plenty of time to talk about this. I just hope you know I'm not going to change my mind. From now on, there is nothing or no one who can cause me to move away from your side."


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