TICKING

4

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Marriage they say is the ultimate goal for any single lady, they said it would uplift her status in the society and give her the respect she deserves.

I sprawled myself on my bed facing the ceiling with my hands wrapped around Rico my fluffy Teddy bear. I was weak and I felt like my body would sink into the bed. I tried to count the lines of the PVC ceiling above me to distract me from my train of thoughts but each time, before I got to the middle, I would get distracted from my own distraction.

Ivie my younger sister had called on my way back from Osas's place to let me know that she and her boyfriend had decided to settle down and are making plans to see my parents officially to let them know of their intentions. They had been dating for three solid years and I was happy for her genuinely until my mother called and spoilt my entire mood.

"Hello mummy, obavan ma" Good afternoon  ma. I greeted her in our Bini language.

"Afternoon my dear, how have you been?"

"I'm fine, how is your husband?" That's the normal way I ask of my dad from her. I refer to him as her husband instead of my father when talking to her and vise versa when talking to Dad.

"He's fine." She answered. That was a straight to the point answer I thought to myself.

"Okay, I guess you called to check up on me?" I asked. She was surprisingly quiet and I knew there was something on her mind, mummy never run out of gists when conversing with me but this time, she was counting her words.

"Yes and also to let you know that Efosa, Ivie's boyfriend is coming to see your father. They have decided to get married."

"Yes, she has called me to inform me, I'm so happy for her o" I told her on the phone excitedly that I didn't expect what hit me next.

"When are you bringing your own man Nosa?" She asked like she was prepared to fight me over the phone.

"Mummy, I don't understand." How had the conversation switched from Ivie who was getting married to me bringing a man home?

"I'm not speaking Spanish Nosa. You're Thirty-one" she raised her voice "thirty-one!" She repeated for emphasis. "You can't let your younger one you're older than with four years get married before you, it's..."

"Who made the rules?" I cut her off with a question. "Who?"

"It's not done dear and it has never happened in our family before." She answered with her voice calm this time around.

"Mummy I have something to do, we would talk later" I told her, she had ruined my entire mood. I had to stop the conversation before she starts telling me the story of her life and how she got married at age twenty-two.

"I know you're running away from this conversation, I've told you my mind. Don't keep your sister waiting." She didn't even wait for formalities before ending the call abruptly.

My mood had been sour since then. First, it was Efe and now my own mother.
They want the best for me, but the right men are not coming forth, what was I supposed to do? Hawk myself on the streets with a placard inscribed "I NEED A MAN" ?

I felt a trickle of tear flow slowly from the side of my eyes to my ears.

While growing up, my mom would always tell me and my two sisters of how early marriage is the best.

She would say "get married on time and give birth to your children quickly so that you can continue to enjoy your life." She would always refer to how she and my elder sister who is now married looked like siblings because she had given birth early.

I had taken her advice and wanted to follow her footsteps but it never went as planned.
I finished school at the age of twenty-three and gave myself an ultimatum to get married within three years so that by the age of thirty, latest thirty-two I'm done having kids and by fifty, my husband and I would be done spending money on school fees and focus on enjoying our lives just like my parents are doing.

I even broke up with the boy I was dating in school. Nonso. We graduated together. He didn't have much, I was even the richer person in the relationship. That kind of a person would not be ready for marriage by the time I would be or so I thought.

But guess what!?

Nonso is married now with a child. Truly, he didn't marry in three years, he developed on himself and got a good job before settling down and I'm still single.

About three other people I dated didn't last long. Once I bring up the marriage talk more than once, they look for an excuse to run away. Commitment was a long shot for them.

There was another guy I dated, he was ready to get married. You know those kind of situations when you're ready to get married and you meet a person who is also ready to get married, the kind of people Efe was referring to. The ones who are ready, not the ones you love.

He was abusive, not physically but verbally and emotionally and I couldn't keep up with a person that would constantly bring my self esteem down knowing fully well that I'm a very beautiful woman with brains.

The last relationship I was in ended because of sex. I decided to be celibate. I had given away my virginity at a young age, I had just left secondary school and I got myself a boyfriend like my friends did. I thought I was in love, foolish me, I was infatuated. He kept on asking for sex and I kept on resisting, I spoke to a friend of mine who also had a boyfriend and she told me there was nothing there. She said she was also having sex with her boyfriend and I should give it a try. I was stupid, I know.

Growing up, I realized I didn't even know the true meaning of sex, what sex really was and that I was giving out a part of me when I started engaging in it. I had given my body on a platter of gold to a boy who broke up with me the moment we got admission into different higher institutions. Thank God I didn't get pregnant because I couldn't say I was very careful.

When I realized myself, I decided to become celibate, to keep myself for only who truly deserves it, someone I truly love, someone who would be my husband.

Tobi was the last person I dated, he was a sweet boy, I use to call him the president of Sweet Boys Association. He spoke my love language continuously and even told me he was in for marriage but he didn't want to rush and wanted us to get to know ourselves better before moving to the next phase. After three months of dating, he began to pester my life to have sex with him even though I had explained myself from the onset of the relationship and he had agreed to wait. He told me he is a man and couldn't hold on longer.

After much thoughts and consideration, I decided to give in. Atleast, I loved him and we would get married. After work, I rushed back home, freshened up and wore a beautiful gown that clinged to my body and accentuated my curves. I drove to his house to make the most of the moment only for me to meet him with another woman. He begged for weeks but I couldn't tolerate a cheating man, we weren't even married yet. Since then, I had been single.

Sex Education for children/Teenagers cannot be overemphasized. Their worth is not in their private parts but they should know what they are getting into and the implications. It would reduce the influence of peer pressure on them.

So what do you guys think about this chapter??? This is the longest I've written in this book so far.

What's your advice for Nosa?

Any words of encouragement?

What do you think about the rules her mother talked about?
But for real though, there are some unwritten and unspoken laws we grew up to meet that are really absurd.

Don't forget to vote, comment and share. 💕❤️