Adina's Saviour

Adina's Promise

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Promises are the uniquely human way of ordering the future, making it predictable and reliable to the extent that this is humanly possible.   
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The hospital hallways were decorated with green, red and gold.

The cheerful disposition of the hospital building was in direct contrast with the sadness hanging in the air. The pain and hopelessness that came with being stuck in a hospital when other people were at home with their loved ones, 'deckin' the halls with boughs of holly'.

The walk to the oncology ward took forever. It was obvious with every step that Damien didn't want to be there and it was obvious with every step I took that I was scared of confirming what those papers said.

"Remember when I said I had something important to do at 3pm?" Damien said as he held my shoulders and led me to turn to my right.

Facing me, behind glass, was a woman in a huge arm chair being attended to by a nurse. She had a tube attached to her arm and in turn connected to some gadget I couldn't describe.

What made my breath leave me, however, was the fact that I recognized the woman in the arm chair.

Damien's mother was in that arm chair. She was pale and looked like she was tired, like she had done the hardest of labor.

But she sat in that chair not like someone who had given up, not like someone who was going to die, but like someone who was going to live, like someone who was going fight.

"What-" I started to ask as I turned back to Damien.

"Leukemia." He said, taking his hands off my shoulders and walking towards the exit of the building.

"Damien?" I called as I half-ran after him. "Damien, stop." It was as though my words had a negative effect on him because he just sped up.

In what seemed like less than a moment, we were quite far from the oncology department of the hospital.

Where we were looked like a garden with park benches.

Damien walked to the fountain in the middle of the garden and I could hear him inhale and exhale deeply. He looked like the entire world was on his shoulders and God, I wanted to take that away from him.

I felt so useless standing behind him like that, not knowing what to say or do.

It's going to be okay?

She won't die, don't worry?

But was I going to let my lack of appropriate words stop me from going to Damien?

No, no I was not.

I reached out to touch him but gave it a second thought. I was scared he'd push me away, figuratively and literally.

"You can just go ahead and pity me." He breathed barely above a whisper.

"Damien." I mustered up the littlest courage I could find and touched his shoulder.

"I am pitiful anyway." He shrugged my hand off his shoulder.

"Damien, stop." My head was spinning.

"My father was a complete douche that abandoned his family when they needed him the most." I felt terrible with every word.

I felt selfish.

I let him carry my own problems on his shoulders when there was barely any room there considering that he had his own problems to deal with.

I let him get entangled with all the complications my life had to oh so generously offer without thinking that maybe, just maybe, he had problems of his own.