Adina's Saviour

Adina's Death?

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A great father's love can be felt beyond distance.
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I closed the door behind me, walking into my room.

I sat on my bed, kept the cake beside me, turned on the TV, picked the cake back up and dug in with my fingers.

I didn’t care that I was making a mess. At that point, I felt numb.

Every movement was robotic, like I was being controlled by some being with crazy mind-controlling powers. I felt utterly disconnected from the world.

I felt dead.

Fluid that I believed was tears ran freely down my face right into the cake I was lifelessly pushing into my mouth.

Seconds later, my throat forgot how to swallow and I was choking. The chocolate goodness that I couldn’t wait to devour minutes ago slipped from my hand unto the floor and I followed, sinking into the rug in front of me.

All I could do was hold my neck. I was slowly losing breath. I was dying.

And I didn’t want to stop it. I didn’t have the will power to want life for myself.

What life anyway?

I had a mother who didn’t have a daughter, a boyfriend who hated me with every fiber in his being, not a friend in the world and a father who was never home.

My father!

At least he loved me. I had to live for him. He was all I had and he was worth living for.

I started gasping. Desperately trying to find air. I clutched my throat but all I was doing only made it worse. I really was dying.

And just then Damien’s face flashed before my eyes.                                                                                                      
His eyes.                                                                                                                                                                                               
His smile.                                                                                                                                                                                           
The untold hurt in the way he walked.

Tears poured in torrents as I realized that I really didn’t want to die.

I didn’t have a life but my dad did, and I was a part of it. Even though  death seemed like the better option, I could at least go through life with Damien in it, even if he was not technically in it. A world with him in it seemed more bearable than one without him. 

But I was already gone…

Gone too deep into the darkness.

                                •••

I woke up to a dark room, with the only source of light being the open window letting the moonlight peep into my room. A tall figure walked to me and sat beside me on my bed, turning on the side lamp.

My father.

By default my whole body moved into his arms.

My small, fragile body.

The dam that supplied endless torrents of tears threatened to break out but I willed myself to stay strong. For my dad.

I looked up after what seemed like hours and saw sadness like I had never seen before in his eyes.                                                       
“I should have been here.” He mumbled into my hair as he pulled me back into a hug. “I should have been here.” He repeated, regret lacing every single syllable. “I was supposed to be here, eating that cake with you. If I was, none of this would have happened.” At this point, his voice broke a little.                                                                          
I couldn’t have my dad cry, cause they we’ll be a heap of sobbing mess.