The Void Between Hearts ~~ongoing~~

40. Surrender (Ivan)

As the nurses roll me to the suite, keeping my eyes open is a struggle. Even though it's a battle against my deepest instincts, I count the bright lights we pass by, in an attempt to stay awake. As we approach the last bright light that will lead us into the elevator, it expands into the deceptive darkness that my sleep is.

°°°°°

"Hey," my vision is a blur and my heart races like someone whose fever has resulted in vertigo. I squeeze them and open them again. It's the Michael guy.

My senses kick in as the cool air from the air conditioner hits me. I look around. A drip line hangs from the top of the bed, connected to my hand. I notice how huge the suite is, the walls are a sombre white colour, giving essence to the four dim lights, placed on them. Next to me is a dim bedside lamp. The room smells of less antiseptic, and there aren't any beeping noises. I stroke the bed, it's also bigger than the generic hospital bed. Looks like a place my mother chose herself. I breathe down and reply, "Hi."

His lips curl into a slow smile, like someone about to present a trophy. I realise why, the moment he moves aside.

As I gander, my eyes draw water. In my head, the steady drumming of my heart is replaced by a smooth, angelic symphony of dubs. It's slow, just like everything now is.

The lamp's dim light is replaced by floating white aurae as the cool air creeps under my skin, spiking the little hairs resting on my arms and the back of my neck.

She stands transfixed, hands inside her sweater, hair wild and unbound, lips quivering furiously, face severely flushed. Her eyes are red and strained, it's not shocking when they slowly begin leaking.

Michael dramatically slides backwards, he turns to leave when she whispers, "thank you." He nods sagely, then bows before walking out, shutting the metal door behind him.

Minutes pass and she doesn't move, she doesn't speak, she's unbothered by the lake her tears have become. I'm trying to ignore mine, but it's hard to ignore the torrents of hot shame soaking the pillow underneath my head.

"Hi." She finally says, her voice still a hoarse whisper.

"Hi." I smile involuntarily, it's hard not to.

"How do you feel?" she pulls a tuft of curls behind her ear.

"High." I say. Her face brightens up as her lips curl.

"Come." I whisper, stretching out my hand.

I'm not prepared for the speed with which she rushes into me. Her hoarse whisper is replaced by deep silent howls as her head borrows into my chest. My eyes leak some more as I pull my hands over her back, stroking her to a calm.

I move aside in the bed, creating enough space for the both of us. She slides in without faltering, resting her head on my chest. I can see her curls beat in rhythm with my heart and I can feel hers beat on my ribs. She holds on to the hospital garb as I bury my nose in her hair. We stay that way for a couple minutes, sobbing, sniffing and embracing.

At this point, nothing prepares me for the way I feel. The warmth in holding her is undreamt of. The strength in having her fragile heart beating with mine is astounding. When she looks up, it's like I'm seeing those bright blue gems and meeting her sharp confident nose for the first time. Looking into her eyes, I wonder why I didn't let the warmth I feel now, stop me from trying to take my life.

"Nobody won." She says.

"Nobody won." I repeat.

She blinks, "we let them in."

"We did." I stroke her hair.

"Whenever you're ready. We'll start again. " she says.

~°~°~°~°~°

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