dear diary | jihan

𝖾𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍

tw: domestic abuse

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dear diary,

i know it's pointless. he'll never forgive me.

but at least i could try?

i'm hoping he'll at least understand why i did what i did.

or even talk to me. i do miss his beautiful voice. it's like music to my ears.

i just hope he'll listen.

xoxo, jeonghan.
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"jisoo?" jeonghan quietly says.

jisoo looks at jeonghan, setting his bag down on his desk.

"i'm really sorry-" jeonghan starts.

"for rendering my girlfriend comatose? for being an absolute bitch?"

"yes," jeonghan sighs. "i know i could've gone about everything better, and i want to fix all this-"

"save it for someone who'll actually listen, jeonghan. i'm done with you." jisoo walks out of the classroom.

jeonghan exhales. there would be no point in trying again. it wasn't like jisoo was going to magically change his perception of him out of nowhere.

during morning time, jeonghan notices chaesol constantly smirking at him as she gives jisoo little kisses. jeonghan looks away, determined not to be bothered.

jisoo wasn't his now. that was the end.

jeonghan had been so preoccupied with jisoo, he'd never really made any other friends. sure, some of the boys from the younger grade did talk to him, but they were jisoo's friends. it's not like jeonghan could hang out with them.

this feeling of emptiness isn't new to jeonghan. it's what he has always felt before meeting jisoo.

jeonghan blankly stares at the board, not taking in any information. why does he have to, anyways? it's not like he has anyone to teach math to.

when he recieves his english test, he merely stashes it inside his file. of course he failed. what's new?

what jeonghan isn't expecting is failing his math test.

well, he got a C. but to jeonghan, that's still bad. he's the star child at math. he's the best in the class. and to get a C?

his teacher tells him to not worry about it, and that he can always do better next time. she says it'll be a learning experience.

sure. a learning experience to never get distracted ever again.

jeonghan hadn't been studying or focusing on anything for the past week. he was too busy with, well, coming to terms with how he felt.

and he knows he feels nothing.

not even nothing in the i-don't-care sense. just nothing in the sense that he's unable to feel anything.

jeonghan isn't worried about getting a C. he's worried about what his father thinks of him getting a C.

jisoo quickly glances at the boy. he can see that jeonghan clearly isn't happy with his grades. jisoo scoffs. the boy is never truly happy with anything.