loving him loving her [bokuto koutarou]

sixteen;

"bokuto-san, please be quiet in a hospital," akaashi scolded softly, and bokuto's eyes widened, remembering where he was.

"oh, yeah. sorry," he whispered, but it was still a loud whisper. "i-is she okay?"

before akaashi could explain the situation, the doctor came out of the hospital room to tell them the gist of what had happened instead. he explained the parts of the foot that were broken and bokuto just stared with obvious confusion.

"thank you," akaashi says to the doctor for explaining. (friend's name) nods silently from beside him. bokuto glances at her, noticing for the first time her red eyes.

"(friend's name), are you okay?" he asks, concerned. he walks over to her and sits next to her, holding the bouquet of sunflowers out to her in hopes that it would cheer her up. "i bought these for you!"

her eyes lift from her gaze on the floor and towards his hands, noticing the flowers for the first time. "sunflowers?" she asks quietly, and he gives her a grin.

"yup! your favorite!"

she clenches her jaw and bites her tongue. now? of all times? she wonders what was going on inside his head.

she stands up, ignoring his kind gesture. "c-can we go in now?" (friend's name) asks quietly to the doctor. the doctor nods and gestured for her to follow him. akaashi stays behind with bokuto. he thought that the friends should have some alone time anyway.

"w-wait, (friend's name)–" bokuto calls after her, placing the flowers meant for (y/n) on the seat beside him and using his free hand to grasp her wrist, halting her in her place. "are you okay? what's wrong–"

she turns around and slaps him right across the cheek. without an explanation or a single word, she follows the doctor into the hospital room where (y/n) waits.

"w-what did i do?" bokuto wonders, holding a hand to his stinging cheek in shock.

"bokuto-san..." akaashi says once (friend's name) was gone, through clenched teeth. "why did you buy sunflowers?"

"i saw them by (favorite flowers) and there was enough money for both–"

akaashi grabs the sunflowers out of bokuto's hands. "a-akaashi?" he walks to the trash can, his hand angrily clenched around them. "wh-what are you doing? akaashi!?" he roughly threw them into the trash can, not caring about the money wasted (his money, anyway).

akaashi calmly walks back to his seat next to bokuto, whose jaw is dropped, unable to comprehend what just happened.

"what was that for!?" he exclaims.

"there is a time and a place, bokuto-san." akaashi was seething with anger, but he tries not to express it in this place. or at least not as explicitly as (friend's name) did. "this is neither the time nor the place to be buying your girlfriend flowers."

-

"(y/n)," (friend's name) says softly when she walks into the room.

(y/n) looked up from her hands and to her best friend. she was surprised to see (friend's name)'s eyes and nose were red from crying.

"i'm okay, (friend's name). don't worry!" (y/n) smiles to hide the fact that she, honestly, felt guilty. really guilty. here her friend was, crying over something as simple as a broken foot, and all (y/n) could think about was how the reason this even happened was due to her feelings for (friend's name)'s boyfriend. she has no idea that that was the reason (friend's name) was crying too.

(y/n) was fully convinced that if she stopped liking bokuto, (friend's name) wouldn't be crying. if she stopped liking bokuto, her foot wouldn't be broken. if she stopped liking bokuto, she could be genuinely happy for her best friend, for finally finding love.

why the hell can't she just stop?

"are you sure?" (friend's name) sniffed, wiping her eyes. (y/n)'s heart sank. if she was honest, her heart heart more than her foot, but she couldn't say that to her.

"yup!"

she tried. she actually tried to like akaashi. she tried to convince herself that maybe he could help her forget about bokuto. but the thing is, she just couldn't. he was nice, he was attractive, and just overall a great person. why couldn't she fall for him? it was annoying. but she realizes it also wouldn't be fair to him, since he has a crush. her feelings would be a nuisance to him as well.

maybe the real question is, why can't she be content with being alone?

"so where are the others?" (y/n) asks.

"outside in the hallway."

"ah.." she felt awkward. why did she feel awkward? "so how is that going anyway?" (friend's name) gave her a questioning look. "y-your relationship."

"oh.. good?" it sounds like a question. she also had a weird tone in her voice that (y/n) couldn't really understand. sadness? "sorry if it feels like i was forcing you to be with akaashi by the way..."

"it's fine."

"i just want you to be happy."

"...me too."

it was awkward. too awkward. neither one of them want to address the awkwardness or tell the other what they were truly feeling. it was a torturous silence between the two, and they both so badly want to break it, but that would also mean having to confront it; the reason for the awkwardness. bokuto koutarou.