The Accidental Star

REGRETS

ANNE

" Thank you Dess, " I told Odessa as she grabbed her things off my dressing room dresser and gave her a wave before disappearing through the door. " I'll see you tomorrow. "

There was knock on my door and my heart leapt when I heard it.

" Dinner? " Rachel popped her head in my room.

I swallowed my disappointment and held out one hand to her. " Give me five minutes, "

Rachel nodded and closed the door behind her.

I walked towards my dresser and stared at my reflection in the mirror. I leaned forward and rested my palms on the table.

" You rejected him and now you're missing him, " I told myself in the mirror. " You're crazy, do you know that? "

My reflection just stared back at me mutely.

It has been a week since Chang professed his love for me outside of my house. It has been a week since I turned him down again and told him I wasn't ready for anything. I didn't even explain myself. I just told him flat out that I wasn't ready.

I groaned loudly and pointed accusingly at my reflection. " You're stupid. Do you hear? Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. "

My reflection gave me a disgruntled look and I scowled.

" He told you that he was going to stay away and you agreed, " I scolded the woman staring back at me. " So why in the world are you missing him now?! "

I didn't know why I didn't say anything. I didn't know why I was pushing him away. I should have really just accepted his love. But I didn't. I was confused and scared and stupid enough to push him away.

I had only seen him once since I jumped out of his car. When we got back to the studio after a day's break, we've learned that we were going to be shot individually. Chang spent the week shooting action scenes outside of the studio while I was shooting all of my set scenes with Sam.

Needless to say, our dinner routine ceased. Just as I stupidly agreed, he stopped calling me. We've stopped hanging out after our shoots too. It wasn't possible anyway because we finished shoots at different times. Admittedly, I wished he wouldn't do as he said and we can both go back to how we used to be before he confessed his feelings for me.

I sighed hopelessly.

This time around, I didn't share with Rachel what has happened between Chang and I. It just didn't feel right to be sharing it with her or anybody. Not that it mattered, because she seemed to have sensed something was off between the two of us. She did ask me about it once but I just told her that we were busy which was not really a total lie. I knew she didn't buy it but she didn't press either.

Despite my earlier disappointment when I found out that it wasn't Chang knocking on my door, I was grateful that Rachel was in the area today. Keeping myself occupied after work took my mind off Chang and our weird situation. She had some meetings with one of her father's clients in a building near Spotlight's so she thought she'd pop in so we can break our home delivered dinner routine.

As we sat inside a Vietnamese restaurant waiting for our order, I realized that I missed eating out in public like normal people. It was impossible to sit down somewhere public and have a meal with Chang. People were quick to spot him and the paparazzis were incredibly fast in picking up his current location.

" I have good news and bad news, " Rachel blurted out in the middle of our dinner.

I looked at her questioningly as I looked up from my Pho. " Bad news first. "