Fame || LRH

Chapter Twenty-Seven

God did I miss him.

Luke’s P.O.V.

I flew home the night I left the hospital, everyone kept asking me if Josie was okay, if she was going to fly to Australia to meet the family. I only let the guys in on what really happened. On how she fucked me over like that.

I don’t know what happened these last few months, but it was all a lie. Everything was a fucking lie apparently and I fell for every second of it. I couldn’t believe myself for being this stupid, this naive.

Of course, Josie fucking Costano doesn’t care about you. She’s been in this business for far too long to have real feelings, this industry killed the human being she was inside. She only cared about fame, publicity was everything to her. For fucks sake, I signed the god damn contract in the first place, I don’t even know how I let myself come to this point. I actually let her in, I let her see the real side of me and the guys did too. They were in denial when I told them what happened, what she had the nerve to tell me, that this whole thing was just an act. The only thing that got them to believe my words was when they saw me start to break down, I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I tried holding my head up high the past few weeks, when I landed on my flight home I put on a smile for the fans who greeted me, when I got to see my family again, I put on a smile for them too, in interviews when people would ask about Josie and I’s relationship, one of the boys would break in and bring up another topic just so I wouldn’t have to say it.

I wouldn’t have to say that we were actually over. But this is what she wanted isn’t it? It was all just apart of the contract. I’m supposed to talk about how huge the break up was so the both of us could get the fame and publicity spread to new levels.

But I couldn’t do it. 

The guys could tell how hard it was hitting me, I barely went out, when I did I was bombarded with questions about how Josie was doing, why I wasn’t by her side right now, Josie this, Josie that. I just wanted to forget her, forget that she didn’t feed me all those damn lies all this time, that she was still that perfect girl I knew before the end of us.

But of course there’s never happy endings for people like us, people who force others to do things to get what they want.

Maybe I deserved this, to have everything in me ripped out through three simple words 

"It meant nothing,"

It killed me. It fucking destroyed me having to hear her say that. Having to look back at what we’ve done in the last few months, having to realize that it was all really just a publicity stunt.

God Luke, you’re so fucking stupid. 

"Luke please come out," Ashton’s voice rang through my wooden door

"Your mum told us you haven’t come out in days, she’s really worried Luke," Calum said 

"Just use the key, it’s been too long," I heard Michael say 

Of course he’d be the one to say that.

They opened the door finding me on the bed with the tv running in the background. I had my guitar on my lap and crumpled music sheets everywhere. It was the only thing keeping me sane right now.

"Come out with us just once Luke, you haven’t seen the outside world in ages," Calum said

"Because I don’t want to."

"We know what she did to you was messed up but you can’t let her do this to you," Ashton reasoned

"Just leave me alone," I groaned putting my guitar down and covering my face in my hands.

I haven’t been able to sleep in days, I’m sure they could all see the eye bags on me. Whenever I slept, she was the first thing I saw when I closed my eyes. I just wanted her out of my life and I knew once I stepped outside everyone else would be talking about her, about us.

I didn’t want to remember, I didn’t even want to say her name. Staying in this room was the only thing keeping that from happening, it’s too bad all the songs I’ve been writing were about her. About how she screwed me over, how this was all a fucking lie. A part of me wanted to record these songs, so the world would know how much she truly did me wrong, but the other part knew it wasn’t right. I wouldn’t let myself stoop to her level, regardless of how bad I wanted to.

"We’re going to eat dinner and we’re not leaving this house without you." Michael stated

"Don’t you get it? I don’t want to. Everyone is going to ask me about her, ask me how our relationship is going, then what? What am I supposed to tell them then?" I snapped

"The truth," Ash said

"What she did was awful, you have the right to tell the truth about what happened. She hasn’t announced the break up so you have to do it first if you want this whole thing to blow over Luke." He continued

Ashton’s words made me think. Even he knows what she did was awful, and yes, I do have the right to tell the truth. I knew I shouldn’t do this, but it was the only way I could truly relieve myself of the pressure from this, maybe I was going to release a song after all. The one song that really does let me explain what actually happened, it’ll stop the public from their assumptions, the rumors, this song reveals it all. It would be my source of closure.

But we wouldn’t be hitting the studio until Monday which was two days away, so maybe the first step to letting go was going out. Maybe I should finally let myself go, let her go.

"Just eat with us for the night, that’s all we’re asking for," Calum said

"Okay," I sighed