"Robin was the love of my life and everyday has gone by so slow without him here," Anne seemed stronger than ever as she stood up in front of the congregation, eyes slightly glazed over. "There will not be a day that goes by where I don't think of his charming wit or the annoying way he always seemed to be right and believe me he knew it," the room erupted in laughter as Clementine bit down on her bottom lip, this was like reopening a wound.
Gemma held the blondes hand as tears streamed from her eyes and Harry sat beside her stoic. Eyes forward and jaw set into a hard clench, but he wasn't drunk this morning. Today belonged to Robin.
"Now I never would have made it through these tough couple of years without my children Gemma and Harry. Robin loved them like he was their biological father and it just made me fall for him even more everyday. Now I could go on for hours about how special and important he was but all I really wanted to say was how loved he is," Anne let a few tears streak down her cheeks as she gazed over at the large family portrait sitting beside her.
"I still talk to him sometimes and I know that sounds a little crazy but I can almost hear him calling me a 'loon' or a 'crazy'," Gemma chuckled beside Clementine and a small smile broke out onto her lips. "Thank you all for coming to celebrate him and share the love for him with us, we may bury him today but he will always be apart of our lives and I know he is with us everyday."
Anne walked off of the stand and plopped down in the seat beside Gemma as silence encased the room. There was an awful feeling in Clementine's chest as Harry stood up and moved his way down the aisle. She smiled slightly as he got onto the podium and adjusted the mic up since he was a lot taller than his mother.
"Um hi I'm Harry...Robin was my step-father," he ran a heavy shaking hand through his newly short hair and Clementine immediately wanted to hold his hand in hers to steady him. "Robin was someone who knew what to say in every situation and he could make your bad day into one of the best in your life."
Gemma let out a small sob and Anne shushed her with a warm embrace, they never thought Harry would be up there talking. A couple days ago they weren't even sure he would show up.
"He practically raised me and taught me how to be the man I am today so if anyone has complaints you can blame him," Clementine smiled gently with the rest of the room as he made obvious eye contact with her, "I um...I um didn't get to say goodbye to him so I kind of just wanted to say what I would have said if I had made it on time."
Harry immediately turned toward the open casket and pulled out a piece of paper. Clementine smiled gently at Anne and Gemma as he began to speak to the man who had shaped him.
"Today would have marked the fifteenth anniversary of the day I met you and it went horribly. I remember thinking how much I hated you trying to take my real father's place. But that wasn't the case at all, every single day I watched you transform my mother into the happiest she had ever been," Harry's hand shook even harder as he heard his mother crying behind him. This whole thing did not seem real at all.
"And as I let you slowly into my life I watched myself change into someone resembling you and that is the highest honor I had ever felt. So today as we say our last goodbye and you get laid to rest I just wanted to thank you for being something consistent in my life. You were always rooting for me and urging me to be the best version of myself. I can only hope that one day I can be even half the man you have been, but you have a huge legacy to live up to. But for you I would try anything, I love you and I am so sorry that I didn't get to tell you that myself."
The room was pun drop silent as he turned around to face the sitting crowd, his eyes searching three facial expressions. The first was his mother, tears streaming down her face as she held a tissue to cover up her red face. She nodded to him proudly, "I love you."
His eyes moved to Gemma as she held onto the blonde sitting directly beside her. She was crying even harder than his mother was, a streak of black makeup streaming down her face. If the circumstances were different he would surely make fun of her or call her a raccoon.
And finally he laid eyes on the most beautiful girl in the room, eyes welled up with tears but they refused to fall. She always felt as if she had to be strong for everyone else, that she couldn't afford to fall apart. But the speech Harry had written tore her apart and made her chest hurt horribly. She knew Robin was watching Harry with pride, she just hoped he could feel that.
Moving to get back into his seat as people praised him, he plopped down beside Clementine who looked at him from the corner of her eye. "I'm really proud of you."
Her words unraveled him in a way she would never understand, tears now making their way down his face. He had never thought he would be able to make it through his speech but Clementine's words last night pushed him.
"Every sunset is a chance to reset."
He wanted to make sure he gave Robin the type of sendoff he deserved. This was his chance to reset.
Clementine moved her hand slowly to rest on his and squeezed gently to comfort him. His hand immediately moving to interlock their grasp, squeezing as hard as he could. He didn't want to cry here but the sobs that wracked his body would not stop.
He wanted to feel as if this would make up for what he had done but he somehow felt worse. Harry wondered if that pressure in his chest would ever dissolve or if he would have to suffer.
But he knew this felt nothing like the redemption he had planned, it felt the opposite and as he sat crying all he could think about was drowning himself in alcohol.
