Starkid/TCB Oneshots

"The Office"

"Ted, why is my stapler in jello?" Paul held up a large plate, which contained jello with a stapler stuck in the center. Ted grinned.

"Paul, you are not a man of culture."

He slammed the plate down onto Ted's desk in annoyance. "That doesn't answer my question." He could hear snickering coming from the other side of the room. He turned to see Melissa and Bill laughing in the corner.

"What's so funny?"

"I-I can't.." Melissa stuttered, unable to contain herself. Ted shook his head in disappointment.

"Paul, you uncultured swine, it's a prank from The Office."

"Ok..?"

Charlotte appeared around the corner. "Have you not seen The Office?"

He shook his head. "I've heard about it. But I don't see why it's such a big deal that I haven't seen it." Melissa let out a large audible gasp, showing that she was done laughing.

"Not a big deal?"

Ted stood up. "That's it. This weekend, after work, my place. You're watching The Office."

"You know, I don't think—" He tried to protest, but everyone else asked if they could join, and sadly they said yes. Paul was stuck.

"It's going to be great! I can invite Sam!" Charlotte explained, walking away towards her desk, where her phone lay. Ted's gaze lingered on her for a bit before returning to Paul.

"Do you have anyone you want to invite, asshole?"

"I, uh.." If he was being forced to go to this, he'd better invite someone he knew he'd actually enjoy spending time with.

"I'll invite Emma. I was about to go see her at Beanies anyways."

"Hey Paul, can you get me a caramel frappe?" Bill shouted from across the room.

"Sure!" He headed out to go see Emma.

————

"You haven't seen it?"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Which is why Ted invited me and the others to watch it with them this Sunday. I was wondering if maybe you wanted to come?" Paul and Emma sat at a little corner booth at Beanies, praying that her boss wouldn't come out and see her not working.

"I have free time, so that sounds good. It's still weird you haven't watched it. It's hilarious!"

"I've heard. Oh, and I forgot to tell you that the whole thing that triggered this conversation is because I found my stapler in jello this morning."

"You're kidding. Who did it?"

He sighed. "Ted, that bastard."

"Of course he did." She glanced behind her to see Nora attending to a customer.

"Ah, fuck. I have to go before I get yelled at."

She stood up and hurried to the front counter, ready to explain herself to her boss.

Paul smiled slightly. He thought that before he wouldn't survive going to Ted's, but now that Emma was accompanying him, he felt ten times better.

————

"Ted, why did you have to cook the popcorn right after we started the show?" Melissa snapped, peering at him from the couch.

"Because I wasn't hungry before!" He snapped. Melissa rolled her eyes and continued to banter with him, while Paul kept grabbing the remote to turn up the tv. Eventually he turned it up loud enough to shut the two of them up, and they kept watching the show.

"So that's where the jello prank came from." He observed, pointing towards the screen.

"Ha, yep. Now you know." Emma snuggled up closer to him on the couch, while Ted plopped down next to them.

"Ok Alice. Yes, Deb can come! Alright, I'll be there in a few." Bill hung up his phone.

"Turns out Alice is in town, and wants me to go pick her up. Is it ok if her and her girlfriend join us?"

Ted waved his hand dismissively. "Yeah, whatever." He didn't seem to care, as he was too absorbed into the show.

"Hey Charlotte, where's Sam?" Melissa asked, trying to make small talk.

"Melissa, shut the fuck up." Ted snapped, shoving handfuls of popcorn into his mouth.

"He's busy." Charlotte answered, ignoring Ted.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Melissa said sympathetically.

"It's fine."

They were silent for a while, until Bill returned with Alice and Deb.

"I brought a few movies, in case we wanted to watch something else."

"You can put them in—" Paul started, but Ted interrupted him.

"You came for The Office, so we're watching The Office."

Back to silence.

Soon, he could hear Emma yawning, and he was yawning himself.

The last thing he remembered was Ted and Charlotte leaving the room.

————

Paul was woken up by loud chattering coming from the kitchen. He sat up groggily.

"What happened?" He turned to Emma, who was drinking coffee next to him.

"I'm surprised you were able to sleep through that. I wasn't."

"Sleep through what?"

"Ted and Charlotte fucking last night."

Paul stared at her.

"But Charlotte is.."

"Married. I know. Before they came out we all made a mutual agreement not to tell them that we heard. Bill left early this morning with Alice and Deb. He was not having any of it."

"Wow."

"Paul, you're finally awake!" Melissa shouted, waving him towards the kitchen. He stood up, and so did Emma. They walked over.

"Did Emma tell you?" She whispered. He nodded.

"Good. It's best they don't know. And I thought it would just be a night of watching The Office. Turns out I was wrong."

————

This one is bad. To be honest, I'm running out of ideas, so please, send in any requests if you have them! (Remember that I don't write smut or reader inserts.)
~Taythefangirl06
Note: If you like Sanders Sides, makes sure to check out my new fanfic called A Group Effort! The first two parts are up now!