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Q30: Has another parent said something to your child that made your blood boil?

By: Quora User (Unknown)

Tiffany, a little girl in my son's class when he was in third or fourth grade, was raised by a vegan/whole foods family , which is fine with me, but the girl would criticize my son at lunch: "What you're eating is a murdered animal," and "That processed noodle dish will make you unhealthy." So one day, my son told her, "Why not just eat your lunch and stop worrying about what everyone else is eating? We get it - you don't eat what we eat." She kept at it - zealots are zealots and won't stop until everyone does as they say.

One day, I was volunteering at school and we were setting up a refreshment table - Tiffany's mother and I. My son ran over, all excited to see me at school and said he wanted one of the cookies. Tiffany piped up with how sugar was bad for you, and my son said something like 'I'm not buying it for you - I'm buying it for me.' The mother walked over to my son and said something like 'maybe you should make better food choices - Tiffany is right; sugar is very bad for you.' My son handed me back the cookie and started to walk away from the refreshment table. He just looked defeated - now a parent was telling him his choices were bad.

I asked my son to come back and handed him a cookie and told him to sit somewhere OTHER than where Tiffany was sitting, and told him not to listen to what she said - adults aren't always right; just older than you, not smarter. He sat and nibbled at his cookie, clearly upset by this interaction with Tiffany's mother.

I asked the other mother to go volunteer to help elsewhere. She seemed surprised - I clearly needed help at this table; why would I ask her to leave? She asked me what the problem was and I told her that she can eat however she wants and her family can restrict their diets, but dictating how other people eat wouldn't be tolerated at the refreshment stand. She protested- she had the right to voice her opinion.

I told her to look around her - everything on the table was donated baked goods; sugar, gluten, fatty. I didn't want her 'sharing her advice' with a bunch of kids who were going to be coming up looking for refreshments; she was bad for business. If it was so important that all the kids eat whole fruits and vegetables, why hadn't she stopped at the store and picked some up to donate to the sale? Other mothers brought baked goods they made - how much harder would it have been for her to put her money where her mouth is and bring in some grapes and carrots? How about making the kids some fresh fruit juice without sugar instead of the juice boxes we were selling?

She left the refreshment table and volunteered to help elsewhere. But she did learn from the experience because the next time she volunteered, she brought a basket full of fruit with her to donate to the event. No one ate it but her kids, but she didn't say anything negative to the other kids about their snack choices.