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༄ chapter twelve
-ˋˏ DAMMIT, VERA ˎˊ-
"LOOK, I don't know what to tell you, other than the fact that it was a bad idea," McCoy said, leaning against the wall of the vacant medical lab. After her rather awkward and, in many ways, embarrassing talk with the acting Captain, Vera had made her way to medical, where she had planned to reconnect with an old friend and hopefully get some reassurance that she wasn't crazy, and that her feeling of guilt was valid. Unfortunately, it seemed the southern belle of a Doctor, Leonard McCoy, felt the same way Vera herself did about her emotions, which was to say...bad.
Sighing, Vera swung her legs back and forth from her seated position on one of the vacant medical tables. The cool metal against her legs would have been refreshing, if not for the worries that plagued her. "I know...I just, I couldn't find a way to express myself," she replied, hanging her head as she thought back to only minutes before, when she made the rash decision of hugging a man she didn't even know, disgusting even herself in the action.
Obviously, it was not out of the ordinary for normal people to give hugs to grieving people - hell, it may have been extraordinary if one Human didn't give another a hug just for fun - but for a Human to give to one to a Vulcan, especially one she didn't know, was especially out of the ordinary. To round that off, Vera was quite not ordinary, mostly in the way she suppressed certain emotions while simultaneously leaving others on full display for everyone to see, her illusions particularly on display when it came to her father, putting on a facade of sarcasm and an uncaring nature. But, with her father returning, it seemed Vera's emotions had bubbled to the surface and her walls had come tumbling down, leading her to feel isolated yet exposed, or even too emotionally invested.
"Next time, just don't express yourself by hugging a fucking Vulcan," McCoy scoffed, taking a bite of the apple in his hands.
Vera threw her hands in the air, scooting down from the table and pacing along the room, an unfortunate habit that she had developed to cope with stress, though she hadn't felt a significant need to use it until a few days ago, when all of this shit first began. "Why, Leonard, what a novel idea!" Vera said, expressing false shock as she placed a hand over her heart before turning to her old friend with a blank expression.
The two hadn't been friends for long, especially as she was just beginning school at Starfleet Academy, and in engineering, while McCoy had been briefly teaching a course in medicine while his then-wife was out of work and caring for their daughter. They met through Darcy, who was a regular at the desk Vera unwilling worked reception at in Building A. The two had seemingly hit it off when they met, becoming fast friends, especially as he was the one who helped her cope during the short break she and Kit had taken in their friendship after a particularly nasty fight.
He became her go-to person to rant to, and she his one-way stop to free gossip on account of her godfather and her being well-known on campus for her influential family. Of course, it was a disappointment to Vera when her friend left California after the messy divorce and went to a Starfleet base in Iowa, but it was inconsequential at best, as that very same year was the one she and Kit left Earth, only to come back four years later with criminal records and without someone to rant to about it. Now, though, the two gossipers were back together on the USS Enterprise, and it was only a matter of time before Vera began up her old habit of speaking to the poor doctor again.
"There's no need to get sarcastic, Vera, I was only saying what had to be said." McCoy shrugged, reaching out an arm to grab her by the shoulder as she passed him, stopping the worried woman's pacing.
Nodding, Vera replied, mocking Vulcan stereotypes as she did so, "Yes, I know, it wasn't logical, but I really had no other way to apologize. I mean, my da, a man I hate, survived the destroying of an entire planet unharmed, as a Human, while the only other Human died by mere coincidence."
"And your point is?" McCoy questioned, still not understanding Vera's line of thinking which, honestly, the woman herself couldn't comprehend. It was one thing to blame herself if she was the cause of the innocent's woman's death, but she didn't even realize technology to destroy a planet was out there, much less usable in this day and age.
Groaning, Vera shook her head, "I don't know."
McCoy shrugged, "Emotions are a weird thing, I guess, especially when matching them with a Vulcan's coldheartedness."
"Spock's not even fully Vulcan," Vera pointed out, resuming her initial position on the medical table, though this time she dragged McCoy along with her, sitting beside him as the doctor continued to eat his apple without worry.
Meanwhile, Vera was still worrying about her emotions, and the consequences her father's arrival may mean to her own mental state. Vera may have been through a lot, from a time of crime to watching an entire race become endangered, but she never - never - reacted in such a way. Of course, that was until she decided to apologize for something she had no part in and hug a Vulcan mere moments after her father arrived. She may have been rash and petty as a person, focused solely on her own benefits or things from others that may land in her favor, but Vera Crynn was not heartless, unlike Vulcans.
"Neither is that kid your dad brought with him," McCoy pointed out, forcing Vera to focus on a new topic besides her brash embarrassment: her new half-brother.
She sighed, bringing her legs up so she was sitting criss-cross on the cold metal table, leaning against McCoy, "He's my half-brother."
"You're dad remarried?"
"Yeah. According to my mammie back before I left, he married a Vulcan woman named Spyr shortly after he left the family. I assume she died when Vulcan was destroyed. Spock said the kid's name is Nath," Vera replied sadly.
"Like Nathan?"
"No, I think it's just Nath. Spock said it was Vulcan."
"Well, that's a stupid name."
"I know." With that, their conversation came to a close, with the two of them simply sitting in silence, not bothering to say anything. Despite both of their gossiping natures, though mcCoy was loath to express his to the public, there was nothing else to say. Vera found she couldn't have possibly expressed her emotions if she tried, an unfortunate byproduct of keeping them suppressed for so long, and Leonard hadn't seen the young woman in a long time, making it difficult to get into their usual routine again.
After what seemed like years of silence, though, of course, it was no more than a few minutes, Vera turned to McCoy eagerly, the sadness and anger she had previously held vanishing as she found herself happy to catch up to what had happened on Earth while she was gone. McCoy was receptive to her excitement, turning to her expectantly as she began, her voice smooth and much less ragged than her previous anger would indicate, "So, I spoke to Kirk briefly earlier, are you and Darcy really-"
Before she could finish her question, though, the PADD on McCoy's waist clicked the life, and a familiar ringing echoed through the abandoned medical room. McCoy reached down, hurriedly taking the PADD from his waistband and opening it, revealing the holographic form of Kirk. He was surrounded by white walls filled with technical equipment, leading the woman to believe he was at the bridge. Kirk noticed Vera, waving to her slightly before turning to face them both, "Bones, Vera, you two should head up to the bridge, it's pretty important."
"We're on our way up," McCoy, who Kirk had called 'Bones', confirmed as he closed the PADD, hanging up. He turned back to Vera to continue their conversation, "What were you saying?"
The two friends stood up, with Vera struggling to scoot off of the table due to her height, before they looked at each other in confusion. Vera began spouting off questions, assuming Leonard, of all people, would have the answers, "Can't you assume what I was going to ask? And what's happening at the bridge? What's so important that Kirk felt the need to call you? Do you think I should grab Kit too?"
"Dammit Vera, I'm a Doctor, not a mind reader," McCoy replied in an upbeat, though slightly annoyed, tone, shaking his head with a small chuckle as he ushered the woman from the room and towards the lift, where they entered alone.
Vera shrugged, pressing the red button for the bridge before replying, "Then that's your fault, I suppose."
