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༄ chapter thirty nine
-ˋˏ BEGINNING OF THE END ˎˊ-
VERA willed herself to look away from Kirk's limp body, not knowing how to handle another death in such a short period of time. Tears flowed freely down her cheeks as she pressed her face into Spock's shoulder, soaking through the material of his shirt. Sobs wracked her chest, slowly but surely, and her hand travelled around the First Officer's waist, holding onto to him as if he were the last thing in the universe.
All she felt was guilt. Perhaps she shouldn't have been so hard on Kirk for a simple mistake; he was younger than her (granted, it was only by two years, but it was still a difference) and hadn't explored nearly as much of both space and Starfleet to know better. He sacrificed himself for everyone, and she was only alive because her friend wasn't.
Spock, meanwhile, was consumed by emotion. He kept it all in for as long as he could, going over Vulcan practices to hide what he felt, but it wasn't enough. He felt anger towards Khan and Marcus. He felt sadness at having just lost his best friend. He felt, deep within the pit of his stomach, a medley of warmth towards the small woman curled up at his side - not enough to overshadow his other emotions, though.
For so long, he'd been denying that he was Human. The only time he felt even a shred of his mother's side was with his friends and when the very person who burdened him to feel died. But, in that moment, he knew that he had no choice in his reaction to the overwhelming way his heart consumed him.
"Khan!" Spock yelled and cried into whatever void he'd created for himself within his chest. That super Human was Marcus' fault. Marcus was the reason Kirk was dead. But now, Marcus was dead too (and in a rather horrific fashion), so all the wrath that filled him was angled at one man and one man only: Khan.
Despite their grief at the loss of the Enterprise's beloved Captain, Spock knew that the war against Khan was still raging. He couldn't stay down in the engine room forever, his arm wrapped around Vera as he clung to her for support and his eyes trained on Kirk's body. And so, once he felt there was no more time to waste, the First Officer struggled to his feet, practically carrying Vera in his arms. He nearly collapsed as he took his first step away from the warp core room, but luckily Kit Pike had been there to catch him while Scotty and Uhura gathered up Vera.
Kit had found moping in the stairwell to be useless. Feeling sorry for himself wasn't going to save the ship from Khan, and he knew that. His relationships with both Vera and Uhura were falling off the edge because of the loss of his father. But, in that moment, Kit knew that there were more important things than his own anguish. Right now, no one wanted or needed Kit, but he was going to give his crew everything he had anyway.
