Autumn Leaves and Teenage Dreams

22. Confrontation

I spend the next two days in a state of constant frustration. All weekend, I thought of the kiss that Aurora and I shared and the pleasant memories we'd made that Friday evening, but after Monday, I can tell Aurora is actively avoiding me. She won't make eye contact, and she keeps making excuses as to why we can't walk home together. My mood has grown bitter because of it. All my friends at lunch notice I'm annoyed, but when one of them finally has the courage to ask, I make up an excuse about Olivia being a teenage brat because that's the most believable.

It's Thursday when I can no longer take it. I miss Aurora, and I wonder if she misses me, too. I'm not sure why, when she acted with such confidence kissing me, that she's shrunk away, but I certainly don't want to lose the friendship we've made, even if it means we don't go any farther than whatever happened on that Friday night.

"Um, I'll be right back," I tell my friends when everyone has settled for lunch. "Bathroom."

No one asks questions, and I slink away to where Aurora is sitting with her friends. I'm not usually so courageous. I never approach her at lunch, and I never interrupt her when she's in a conversation with her friends, but at the moment, I can no longer handle the silence. I march toward her, and I watch her face turn pale as she notices me approaching. Her back is slouching some, as if she is trying to hide from me behind her friends' shoulders. It doesn't work with hair that vibrant.

Her friends grow quiet with my approach.

"Hey, I want to talk to you," I tell Aurora. "Privately," I add after a moment of silence.

"Um, okay," Aurora says. She looks across the table to her friend, Brooke. "Watch my things for me, will you?"

I grasp onto Aurora's wrist and lead her away from the girls sitting and enjoying lunch in the courtyard. She follows me, though she's quiet, and she keeps her head down as she walks, as if she's ashamed somehow.

"Where are we going?" Aurora asks.

"To the back of the campus," I say.

"But you know we're not supposed to be walking around unsupervised at lunch," Aurora murmurs.

"I know," I say. "But I want to talk."

"Can't it wait until after school?"

I shake my head until finally I find a corner near an unoccupied classroom that leads out into the parking lot. It's as Aurora said. We aren't supposed to be anywhere outside the cafeteria and courtyard during lunch hours, but when I said I wanted to speak to Aurora privately, I meant it. I can't risk anyone hearing us.

I stop finally and drop Aurora's wrist. She looks down, refusing to make eye contact with me.

"What's up?" I ask, trying to speak as softly as possible, even though I'm fuming inside. "Why are you avoiding me?"

"You know why," Aurora murmurs. She holds tightly onto the wrist I was previously grasping.

"Why didn't you bring it up? Why didn't we talk about it on Monday? I'm so confused, Aurora. I don't know what signals you're sending me," I say. "Sorry to drag you away from your friends like that, but I'm starting to lose my mind, and I needed to talk to you."

Aurora suddenly lets out a cry and sinks down against the wall, burying her head into her knees. I stand in shock, not sure what to say or do that will comfort her. In fact, I'm not even sure why she's crying. Her face is hidden, and her long red curls cascade down her winter tights.

"I don't want you to hate me," Aurora murmurs.

"What? I don't hate you," I promise her.

Aurora wipes a few tears from her eyes and looks down at her feet. "I feel so guilty. I feel like you should hate me. On Friday I...I had a great time, but I felt like I was forcing you to do something you didn't want to. I didn't have the courage to face you on Monday. I still don't."