Loving the sin (bxb)

Chapter 31 - The moral

Nathan looked hesitant, almost afraid to actually speak those words, that could hurt David, his former best friend. But to be honest, I simply didn't care. He had brought it on himself by trying to get my love hurt and that was not something I took very lightly. Even if he would have confessed to something that wasn't his fault, but that could be used against him, I would use it. I simply couldn't let my love get hurt, no matter what it would cost David.  

"Hey" I said, taking Nathan's hands with my own, squeezing them lightly. "It's ok, you can do it" I told my love, who had bit his lip and looked almost a little embarrassed. Was it really that bad? 

"I mean...its really really bad...gosh why do I feel like I'm betraying David right now?" Nathan chuckled weakly and I smiled. 

"Because you are good and kind and your heart is too big for your own good sometimes. But thats one of the many things I love about you. You always try to make things right and be the saint everybody makes you to be. But this time love, you have to do it, ok? If not for yourself, do it for me, please?" I asked and Nathan nodded, a light blush on his face. Oh he was really too pure for this whole ordeal.

"W-Well.. uh, when we were about 14 years old...uhm... David confessed that a few days prior he...he had a big family reunion and uh...he...slept with his cousin...a few times actually" Nathan confessed and my jaw..it dropped. No...our David was a little incest boy? What?? Bloody hell, I would have never guessed that one! 

"You mean... second or third cousin or..." I carefully asked and Nathan blushed, looking a little disturbed as he frowned and shook his head. "No uhm...first cousin" he answered and I grimaced at the thought. 

"Oh...uhm, I don't want to judge but...ew" I said and Nathan chuckled. "Yeah you could say that" he replied. Nathan nervously played with my hands, but I was so very proud of my love for telling me this, even if he felt a little guilty now. 

"They actually fell in love, kind of. I guess they didn't really, like, love each other, because they were so young and how David described it, it was a little more on his side than her's. They don't talk anymore, but back then, David was actually pretty excited about the whole thing. He made me swear on my grandma's grave to never tell anybody" Nathan said and I thought about his words. Could we use this against him? 

"Do you have any prove?" I asked and Nathan looked even more nervous at that, before he reluctantly nodded. 

"They used to write letters to each other. Because he was afraid his family would find out, he send them to my address. Luckily, my family didn't open the mail, because sometimes his cousin send...interesting polaroids. Ew I don't like thinking about that at all! I didn't snoop around, sometimes he just showed me because...he was a teenage boy and...boobs, I guess. Well, I had to keep the letters for him and... I still have them hidden behind my closet" Nathan said and now I almost had tears of joy in my eyes. Not because of Davids misery, no, but because we maybe could get away with that! This was our ticket out! 

"How old was his cousin when it happened?" I asked and Nathan thought about it for a moment. 

"I think Mindy was about 13...maybe a year younger...yeah I think she was 12... it was...weird. But I never judged him...well, in front of him at least. I think he actually thought he was in love, but someday, Mindy stopped replying and when they met again at the age of 16, she told him it was a mistake. Do you think...do you think we can use this?" Nathan hesitantly asked and I actually wanted to cry because of how relieved I was. 

"Yeah Nathan, I think this is our ticket out! Yes people here hate us gays like a disease, but having sex with your 12 year old first cousin and thinking you are in love with her? I think that would ruin him as much as our secret would ruin us. The difference just is, and its important to me that you understand this my love, our secret isn't actually bad. I love you and we did nothing wrong, ok?" I asked and Nathan smiled.