Unworthy of You || VSOO

Chapter 30: Guilt

I scrambled and instantly bolted upright. My eyes adjusted to the rays of the sun seeping in through the window blinds.

"Fuck.. why did I dream about that again?" I rubbed my face and leaned against the headboard, slowly getting consumed by guilt as I remembered the past happenings as if it happened yesterday.

I'm such a bitch. No wonder I'm living a miserable life. It must be my punishment for being so selfish.

I held onto my chest, feeling the rapid beating of my heart. What if.. Jisoo one day finds out what I did?

Will.. Will she despise me?

I just sat there on my bed, staring blankly into the unknown for god knows how long. I reached for my phone sitting on the bedside table and opened my schedule list. It's suprisingly empty.

"Ugh. I need a distraction. This is killing me" I rubbed my temples as I got out of bed. I took my usual morning shower and got dressed

I went downstairs and saw Jisoo, Rosé and Lisa eating breakfast, I sat beside Jisoo to join them, grabbing some waffles and putting it on my plate.

"Ey Jen, you're dressed up. Where are you going?" Rosé asked, taking a bite of her velvet cake slice

"Oh, just gonna grab some coffee and chill." I said while eating

"Woah, that's new." Lisa commented, busy texting on her phone.

"Mm.. You guys wanna come?" I offered

"Nah, I have training today." Rosé answered

"I'll be staying here for a while since a new batch of recruits are on the way to the agency." Lisa said

"I need to go back to Taehyung's place. He called me earlier asking me to come back asap." Jisoo said, shrugging to herself.

"Ah okay then." I quickly finished my waffles and drank a glass of milk, once done I stood up and excused myself first, bidding goodbye to them.

I decided to drive to the café myself. I usually don't drink coffee and chill but I really need a distraction. Sitting next to Jisoo earlier made me feel even more ashamed of myself.

I ordered black coffee because why not? I feel so awful that my mood is even affecting what I choose to drink.

I took a random seat at the corner and drank the coffee. Bitter. It was too overwhelming for me but I forced everything down my throat.

"Ugh that was awful." I muttered, my face scrunching up as I randomly scroll through instagram.

"Are you okay?" a familiar voice was heard in front of me

Taehyung? I instinctively looked up expecting seeing a familiar face, but not a face that I expected.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." Yoongi said, taking a seat in front of me "What brings you here?"

I scoffed at him "None of your business Mr. Min. Aren't you with your fiancé or something? She might freak out again."

Yoongi raised an eyebrow at me, leaning forward "Jennie, we're out of work premises. Please, just call me Yoongi, and no, Mira is not with me now."

"So? What can I do for you then..." Jennie paused, putting her phone aside "Yoongi?"

"Listen Jennie, I can't find any other time to say this but now so here goes nothing." Yoongi paused, taking a breath "I.. I apologize for everything. I apologize for not keeping in touch with you.. I apologize for, for cheating on you-"

"Stop."

"Listen Jennie. I really wasn't gonna do that but-"

"I said stop!" I exclaimed, raising my voice as I slammed the table.

Great. People are secretly taking peeks at us now, but hearing those words from Yoongi. All the pain that I've buried for so long, it all just resurfaced from a mere talk with him. I was clenching my fists underneath the table, biting my lips inwardly to avoid my tears from spilling.

I cannot allow myself to show any weakness in front of him.
Not even one bit.

"Jennie, are you listening..?" Yoongi's question snapped me out of my thoughts.

"I- I don't care about the past" I said, my voice almost trembling "Please don't bring that up anymore."

"Jennie. Please listen. Back then, I was in Japan, starting out as a model. You know that. It was hard for me to adapt and Mira was my only fellow colleague who's Korean. She helped me learn Japanese. She told me she liked me but I told her many times that I had a girlfriend waiting for me." Yoongi sighed heavily, as if he's reminsicing everything deeply.

"The day before my flight back to New Zealand, Mira invited me to dinner. Of course I would have refused but then she told me it wasn't anything romantic, she said she just wanted to bid her farewell to me as a friend." Yoongi continued "After dinner, we were about to head back to our dorm but we bumped into our other colleagues and they persuaded us to come with them to a night club. I couldn't refuse since they told me they wanted to treat me one last time before I go back."

"I.. so we went to the night club. I thought I could just watch from the sidelines and not drink much but I guess I was wrong. The.. The next day, I woke up and checked the time. I was supposed to be in New Zealand already but I was.. I was in bed with Mira.." Yoongi paused, having a pained expression on his face.

Pained? Really? Wow. What about me? If he feels awful, then what about me? Unconsciously, a tear slid down from my cheek, but I quickly wiped it and held everything back even though I feel like a dam will break out from eyes any second.

"Jennie.. I really didn't mean it. I don't remember what even happened. But I couldn't leave her like that. Of course.. I had to take responsibility even though she wasn't preg-"

"I can't believe this. Why are you telling me all this? What the fuck Yoongi? Why must you bring up everything back and resurface all my pain?" I bursted, tears uncontrollably flowing down my cheeks.

"Jennie..." Yoongi slowly reached out his hand, caressing my cheek "I tried to stick with Mira but, I can't forget about you.. Please.. give me a second chance?"

~~~

Oof... so.. do you guys think Yoongi deserves that second chance? Hmm..

Anyway for Jennie's dream aka flashback, you may refer to Chapter 5 and Chapter 10 if you already forgot (ehe my fault for not updating frequently peace)

Anyways thank you for reading ^^

I apologize for any grammatical/typographical errors you may spot, please point them out so they can be corrected.

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