I'll Be Thinking of You

Chapter Thirty-Five: Neil's Feelings

Neil frowned as he listened to Meena talk excitedly about her holiday plans, he knew that she had every right to be happy about her relationship however he couldn’t help but feel hurt.

Neil took a deep breath trying to calm himself, he was sure that if he would have had the guts to tell Meena himself then she could have been with him; he was sure she would have been just as happy with him as she was with Neymar.

“I can’t believe that you get to spend Christmas in Brazil,” Erica mused helping Meena pack for her trip, they wouldn’t leave until a couple of days before Christmas but she wanted to be prepared so she didn’t forget anything.

Meena nodded her head with a smile, she was excited about going to Brazil and getting to enjoy herself; she was just a little nervous about meeting Neymar’s father.

The brunette had been a little surprised when Neymar had revealed that he still hadn’t told his father that he wasn’t really dating Gabriella; she had a feeling that there was a reason that he was holding back from doing so.

Erica looked up as Neil walked into the room, she had noticed how quiet he had been recently and she worried that his feelings for Meena might cause him to do something stupid.

“Meena could we talk in private?” Neil asked nervously, he knew that he had to tell her how he felt and he didn’t want to cause any trouble; he just wanted to get the weight of his shoulders.

Erica’s eyes widened and she looked at Neil worried what he might say, she didn’t want any problems and she knew that things would change when Meena learnt how Neil felt for her.

“Sure,” Meena agreed wondering what Neil wanted, she flashed a small smile at Erica before following Neil out of her bedroom; the two headed for his while Meena wondered if this was about her Christmas present.

“So what’s up?” Meena asked moving to sit down on Neil’s bed, she looked around the bedroom, which was filled with a lot of his textbooks; she smiled glad that he was nearly half way through his course now.

Neil took a deep breath, his fingers moving through his shaggy blonde hair; he looked at Meena knowing that this could change things between them and he hoped he wouldn’t ruin their friendship.

“I know you’re dating Neymar but there is something I have to say,” Neil said trying to prepare himself, he wasn’t sure how Meena would take this news but he didn’t want to lie anymore about how he felt.

Meena stared at Neil, a bad feeling starting to form in her stomach at the mention of her boyfriend; she had no idea where he was going with this.

“I really like you,” Neil admitted, he watched Meena knowing that he was tired of hiding his feelings and he wasn’t going to be ashamed of how he felt.

Neil had spent so long denying how he felt and he had always been super protective of Meena; she was a wonderful person and he just wanted her to know how he felt.

“I really like you too,” Meena replied not understanding what Neil was telling her, she smiled at him wondering what this was really about; she stared up at Neil with curious blue eyes.

Neil sighed realizing that she hadn’t understood what he had meant, he shook his head knowing that he would have to explain what he was trying to say.

“No… I mean I really like you, I’m in love with you,” Neil emphasized moving to take Meena’s hands, he watched her hoping that she would finally understand what he was trying to tell her.

Meena stared at Neil shocked, her stomach churning and twisting as she realised that this was not what she had been expecting him to say to her.

“You’re in love with me…” Meena whispered pulling her hands from Neil’s, she felt sick knowing that this changed things; she felt horrible that she hadn’t realised that he loved her or had those type of feelings for her.

Neil nodded his head, a small smile on his lips hoping that in some small way that she would return those feelings; he wasn’t sure what he expected her to say to him now.

“I’m so sorry,” Meena whimpered, she felt tears starting to form in her blue eyes as she realised that she had been hurting Neil by being with Neymar; this wasn’t what she wanted to do.

Neil swallowed, he could already tell where she was going with this and he felt bad for putting her under this pressure; he had just wanted her to know how he felt.

“I don’t see you like that Neil… you’re like a brother to me,” Meena stated, she didn’t want to get Neil’s hopes up and she felt terrible for having to do this to him; she hadn’t even known he had feelings for her.

Meena’s mind raced as she tried to think of a way to make it right, she didn’t want to hurt Neil but she didn’t want to give him any false hope.

“It’s okay,” Neil murmured, he didn’t want her to feel bad and he knew that it would have come out sooner or later; he had sort of hoped she felt the same way even if it was a little farfetched.

The room was silent as the two of them realised that there wouldn’t be any going back to how things had been; it was something that neither of them knew what to do.

“I’m sorry,” Meena whispered, she had no idea what else to say and she hated that it had come to this; she looked down at her hands as guilt consumed her.

Meena would have done more to hide her relationship with Neymar if she had known that Neil had feelings for her; she had basically rubbed it in his face.

“I’m gonna go out,” Neil announced before he turned and walked away, he couldn’t be around her now that she had turned him down like that; he wanted some time to set his head straight.

***

Neymar furrowed his brow as he moved to answer the door, he wasn’t expecting any visitors and he was sure that Meena was back at her apartment packing for their trip to Brazil.

Neymar was excited about spending the holidays with his girlfriend and he knew how much Davi was looking forward to seeing Meena again; he hadn’t stopped talking about it since he had found out.

Neymar opened the door and stared shocked to see his girlfriend, she looked like she had been crying and she had several bags with her; he had no idea what had happened to make her turn up like this.

“Meena?” Neymar asked confused, he had no idea what was going on but he didn’t like the fact that she had been crying; he moved to pull her into a hug wondering what had happened.

Meena clung to Neymar, she knew that she should have called first but she had needed to pack all of her things before Neil had come back.

“Can I stay here for a while?” Meena whispered, she didn’t want to be a bother but she didn’t know where else to go; she sniffled pulling back to look at her boyfriend.

Meena wasn’t going to tell him why she had left her apartment, she wanted to give Neil some space and she knew that this was the best option; she didn’t want things to be awkward between them.

“Of course,” Neymar whispered wondering what was going on, he brushed some hair from her face; he hated that she wasn’t going to tell him and he had a feeling that it was something to do with Neil.

Meena smiled weakly, she knew that running away wasn’t the answer but Erica agreed with her that some space between her and Neil would be good for them; there was no need to give him any false hope about the future.