Melissa: Stephanie are you okay?
Valkyrie: I'm fine
Desmond: I really think you should call her Val. Clearly she's more comfortable with it. Her Facebook name is Valkyrie
Valkyrie: I don't mind being called Stephanie. It's just most of my Facebook friends don't know that my name is Stephanie.
Desmond: See Melissa. We should call her Val
Melissa: But she's my Stephanie
Valkyrie: Seriously dad, either one is fine
Melissa: Where are you? When are you coming back home?
Valkyrie: Me and Skulduggery are solving this case. A man responsible for a massacre just escaped from jail just last week
Skulduggery: Hello Mr and Mrs Edgley. I assure you, you're daughter is fine. She had the flu last week but she's recovered since then
Melissa: You were sick? Did you take medicine? Do you want us to fly over to wherever you are?
Valkyrie: Mum, it was just a cold. I just took Panadol. Don't worry. I'm in Germany right now
Desmond: Weren't you in Germany last week?
Valkyrie: Um.. Dad I was in Italy last week.
Desmond: Sorry, you're just always travelling
Melissa: How are you guys going with the case?
Valkyrie: Fine. We know he's in Berlin somewhere
Desmond: If that murderer ever tries to attack you, grab Fletcher and come straight back home, you understand Valkyrie?
Valkyrie: I'm fine seriously. I've been doing this for a while. Since I was 12
Melissa: Well you didn't tell us back then. And if you had, we would've been like this all the time
Valkyrie: This is why I didn't want to tell you
Skulduggery: Mr and Mrs Edgley, if you want you can have your Stephanie back. I can always find a new partner
Valkyrie: Skulduggery?!
Desmond: Stephanie?
Skulduggery: Parents are always my priority
Valkyrie: No please. I like doing this. I can't stop solving crimes. What am I meant to do if I live a non-magical life?
Skulduggery: May I suggest stamp-collecting? Or perhaps being a school-teacher
Valkyrie: Stop it Skulduggery
Skulduggery: Only kidding, you'd be terrible at the job
Valkyrie: I'm not impressed with you right now
Skulduggery: I'm joking. There's no way I'm returning my detective puppy back to her parents
Valkyrie: Puppy?
Skulduggery: Fine... partner
Valkyrie: Thank you
Skulduggery: Anyhow... I'm sorry Mr and Mrs Edgley, I can't give Valkyrie back to you
Valkyrie: My parents probably don't like you very much.
Skulduggery: I can't imagine why
Valkyrie: Well first, you called their daughter a puppy then you told them you can't give them their daughter
Skulduggery: Well do you want me to return you to your parents?
Valkyrie: Stop making it sound like I'm a library book
Skulduggery: Sorry
Valkyrie: Did the great Skeleton Detective just apologise to me?
Skulduggery: Maybe.. probably not.
Desmond: Stephanie when will you be home?
Valkyrie: Next week, I promise. I'll come to your house
Melissa: It's just we miss having you around Steph, stay safe
Valkyrie: I will mum
Melissa: We love you darling
Desmond: Although recently you have been replaced with Alice
Alice: Yup mum and dad love me more
Melissa: Alice! You can't have Facebook! I told you, you can get it when you're 13
Alice: Stay safe big sis
Valkyrie: Haha I will. Love you all
Desmond: Alice.. you're so grounded
YOU ARE READING
Skulduggery Pleasant gets Facebook
FanfictionThis is just a funny story about what would happen if the Skulduggery Pleasant characters got facebook. All the characters belong to Derek Landy (the God of writing) It's based after the events of TDOTL DONT READ IF YOU HAVENT READ TDOTL Due to abso...