I hate you.
But I dont even know what that means.
Because it really seems that this hatred is hurting me the most.
Because when i'm alone this anger pulls me apart at the seams and makes me forget who I am;
It turns me into the monster you made me.
It pains me.
Pain is the absence of love.
Just how darkness is the absence of light,
And silence is the absence of noise,
Pain is the absence of love.
Nothing can destroy it for it is a matter of this universe's composition.
It can only fill, not be overcome.
Which is what confuses me.
Because there was a point where I told you I loved you,
And meant it.
And now I still care even when I shouldnt,
Because that love can not just go away.
It can only change.
Maybe hatred is the extreme form of being pained by the lack of love.
You see?
So when I tell you I hate you, do not become filled with the same anger I have been.
Maybe I am just telling you how badly it is that I want you to love me.
Or maybe you do love me, and I crave the love you're offering, but just can't grasp it.
Or maybe something has happened, or you've done something,
That made me realize my love should not be stored in you,
No matter how much I wish it could be.
