Hold Me Close | Kellic

Chapter 28

By the time Vic's story of Tony and Jaime's deaths had ended the connection was lost and the room had returned to its normal self, containing only Mike and myself. Throughout the entire story Mike hadn't been sure of what to do with himself and settled with perching on my bed, staring in the same direction I had been as if trying to make Vic  and Tony visible to his own eyes. I would look back at him from time to time to see how he was coping with the fact that his brother and boyfriend were theoretically in the same room as us but he was coping well and I felt somewhat proud of him for that. At this point in time I considered both brothers' existences being only there for the purpose of one another, they needed each other and so that was why I wanted to fight as hard as I was capable of to reunite them properly. 

I turned to face Mike to see he was already standing up straight in antispation to recieve the news of how his lover had come to die. A death that I now knew and in all honesty would have rather not known. Even more so would have rather not been the one to reciete it to Mike. I was a confident, strong willed and ususally insensitive demon but I knew what situations I had to take caution in and know how to not break someone's emotions although emotions were a fragile thing that didn't come with a caution sign, you need to have the common sense yourself to understand how they work but in a world like this common sense is always forgotten. 

I took in a deep breath, even though breathing was no longer required for me, and proceeded into clenching my fists and unclenching to prepare myself for more what I guessed would be eyes full of sorrow. And tears. I couldn't bring myself to understand what crying was, why little drops of pure water seeped out of the most beautiful, sincere attribute of the body that let you see into the soul. Tears held sadness, I saw them as visible emotions that had formed to escape and try to relieve the host of the pain. The tears were the cause because they held the emotion but they didn't want to, they wanted to escape and when they did it was a good thing. A great thing. I didn't understand why it had to be so heartbreaking at the same time or a great thing that had to be expressed by such pain. It was ironic that something so upsetting came from something so beautiful. As a demon who has never experienced a tear until recently I guess I just didn't know and was trying to find a reason as to why it happened so I'll never really understand nor will I ever clearly know why Vic could cry even when he was happy. All I knew is that I never wanted to see anyone cry, it was too beautiful and real therefore too much to bare, the amount of beauty and sincerity making it heartwrenching and something you can't experience because humans and beings such as myself aren't strong enough to witness it's beauty. Therefore you never want to see someone cry. You shouldn't want it.

"Kellin, are you okay?" Mike asked, looking at me with nothing less than concern which in my opinion wasn't needed to be directed towards me but you can't stop a person, or soul in this case, from caring. I nodded slowly, bracing myself.

"Yeah," I assured him, "But I don't know if you will be."

For a brief moment I saw the fear evident on his face of what he'd have to hear but he immediately covered his real emotions with that strong face of his. I stepped toward him and squinted, looking at him closley and taking in the details. The lines where his tears had been that stained his cheeks, the weariness of his whole face, how scruffy his hair had become, bruises that couldn't be hidden, everything. Especially those eyes that he couldn't mask and held that sincerity that scared me. I knew how he was feeling. 

I walked us back to the bed and we sat down, facing each other whilst daring the other to speak first. Mike sat there twiddling his thumbs. Obvisouly I had to be the brave one and voice myself. I didn't know in the slightest how to begin so I just said what I thought was right. 

"I'm not sure how to say it and I'm not even sure if I understood the story correctly so I'm sorry if I get any details wrong but I'm going to try but I don't want to say anything that will hurt you even though I know it will and I don't know how this is going to go or what I'm most likely to say now and," I started rambling and found myself incapable of controlling my own tongue but then Mike thankfully interrupted me.