Recover (Larry Stylinson AU)

Chapter Eight; An Old Friend

"Hard times don't last forever, but true friends do."

- Anonymous

When Harry was on his way home, he was beyond confused. He needed to sort out his priorities. He couldn't do this. He couldn't pretend that falling in love with his therapist was perfectly normal, because it wasn't. Feeling a sudden need to grab his razor, he started walking at a faster pace to get home more quickly, until he realized he didn't have a razor anymore. 

Making a quick decision, Harry nearly sprinted to the closest store, running inside and grabbing a lighter, he quickly put it at the cash register, ignoring the strange look that the man gave him. He fumbled in his wallet for some change, relieved to find that he had just enough to pay for the lighter. He knew that he was messing things up; he wasn't supposed to waste his money and he certainly wasn't supposed to be harming himself again, but he didn't care. 

He briskly walked out as soon as the man handed him his change, grabbing the lighter as he went. He looked around for a secluded spot, then decided to sit down at a bench that was in front of a park, where kids were playing around carelessly. He almost laughed at the irony that he was doing something depressing at such a cheerful place. 

He quickly lit it up, watching, fascinated, as the fire came to life in his hands. He shakily put the lighter under his skin, watching as the skin slowly turned red. He sighed in relief, quickly releasing the lighter. That was all he needed. A quick reminder that he was piece of dumb shit, and didn't deserve to love anyone, especially someone as perfect as Louis. Something to remind him of what a disappointing fuck he was.

He slipped the lighter in his pocket, deciding to keep it for emergencies, and walked back home in silence, letting the guilt and self-hate loom over him, like a cloud. He knew that he shouldn't have given in to his urge so easily, but he just stopped thinking and forgot about his little "mission" for a second. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. He fucked up, big time.

What else was new?

*~*~*

After going home and grabbing something to eat, he was just about to rush up the stairs and lock himself in his room when he heard the doorbell ring. He groaned, wondering who could be ringing on a Friday evening, but went to open the door anyways, seeing as both his mum and Gemma were at work. 

He opened the door to find a man with his back to him. He was wearing a leather jacket, and sporting a quiff. To top it all off, he had black hair, which made him look a lot like the kids at school. Immediately, Harry felt uneasy. 

"May I help you?" He asked hesitantly, waiting for the man to turn around. He turned around as soon as he heard Harry's voice, and Harry's breath was knocked out of him as he recognized the face. "Zayn?" He asked, confusion lacing his voice. "What are you doing here? I thought you moved away, like, ages ago."

Zayn had changed a bit. He'd outgrown the baby fat and the big, wide, eyes and looked a little more fit now. Harry noticed that he looked almost hurt, with the way Harry was treating him, but he didn't really care. Years of bullying had taught him that he couldn't trust anyone, other than his family. 

Zayn was the only friend that Harry had ever had. The two had met in Grade six when the teacher had forced them to work on a Science project together. Although Zayn and Harry hung out all the time, Zayn was a pretty cool kid, so no one bothered him too much, even though they bothered Harry all the time. When Zayn had announced he was moving in Grade nine, Harry had been devastated because Zayn was his rock, the only thing that kept him sane. Seeing him again was refreshing, even if Harry was a little guarded. 

"Aren't you happy to see me?" He asked, pouting slightly. 

Harry shook his head. "You know I love you, Zayn. I'm just. Surpised, is all. Didn't expect to see you. It's been a long time."

"Yeah, the family and I are deciding to maybe move back here, and then I remembered you, so I decided to give you a visit."

"Wait, you're living here, now?!"

Zayn chuckled, shaking his head at Harry's disbelief. "No, not yet. But we will be, hopefully. So, you gonna let me in or are we gonna stand here and catch up?"

Harry laughed, opening the door wider and letting in his old friend. He felt a little more at ease, now that he realized that no, Zayn hadn't really changed all that much since the last time they saw each other. The two of them floated into the kitchen, and Harry couldn't help but chuckle fondly when Zayn immediately opened the fridge, whining that "he was starving," and that "he hadn't had any breakfast or lunch."

After grabbing some homemade pizza, the two of them migrated to Harry's room, shutting the door and sitting on the bed. Zayn started sharing what had happened in his life so far while he'd been away, all the while munching on the pizza. Harry, however, was a little more reluctant to share his secrets, seeing as he hadn't really shared anything with anyone before, other than Louis. 

"So, what's been going on in your life, Haz?"

Harry shifted uncomfortably on the bed, looking anywhere but at Zayn. "Oh, you know, same old."

"Come on, Haz! We haven't seen each other in forever and this is what you tell me?"

"I'm gay?" Harry said in a small voice. In fact, his voice was so small that he wasn't even sure if Zayn had heard him at all. 

But when he hesitantly looked up at Zayn, he was sitting there and staring at Harry with a calculative expression on his face, something that looked suspiciously like pride in his eyes. And sure enough, a couple seconds later, Zayn whispered, "I'm so proud of you, Harry. I'm glad you've changed. The Harry I left behind never would have been able to accept it, let alone say it out loud!"

And that was when Harry broke down. He wasn't sure why; Zayn hadn't said anything or done anything to upset him, but he was proud... It was too much. No one had ever been proud of Harry before, other than his family, and just thinking about Zayn--the only friend he'd ever had--being proud of him made him so so so happy that he couldn't describe it. 

For a second, he wanted to share all his secrets with Zayn. The hate, the self-loathing, the cutting, the therapy sessions, Louis, everything. But he held himself back, because baby steps. He was supposed to take baby steps. 

So, instead of spilling his heart out, he simply cried. He sobbed and sobbed until he just couldn't anymore. And Zayn held him in his arms and whispered sweet things into his ear and Harry thought that yeah, having Zayn back wasn't that bad after all. 

A/N: Hey guys! READ THIS A/N IT'S VERY IMPORTANT OKAY.

 Just one announcement this time :) I just wanted to let you know that I have come to the decision that yes, I will be writing smut (sex) for this story. I'm not sure if I should keep it available to the public or to only my fans, though ... So yeah, I'm still a bit undecided as to when it'll happen & how it'll happen, but it will happen. Just a warning :)

And sorry there isn't any Larry in this, hopefully in the next chapter! ;) And yeah this chapter kinda sucked but hopefully you all like Zayn :)

And while you're at it, check out my new larry fic, Learning To Love! (I know I know, another one haha)

- Amy xx