Gray Days

Chapter 2: Getting In, Breaking Out, and Finding Out

2

Zoey.

When Monday comes, the first thing I see when I look out the window is Rut, shirtless and on his phone. He's mouthing words I can't make out and even though I try to avert my gaze, I don't, until he hangs up and sees me. At first, I thought he'll look at me warily, given the fact that I might tell everyone what he told me, but instead, he grins widely and waves a hand up in the air, not a worry on his bare face.

Many years ago, I was this girl who was so excited when my parents finally bought me my own bicycle. Dad would call me out to the street to practice cycling, and he would hold the seat as I pedaled through the sidewalk, crying out to him not to let go. When he thought I got the hang of it, he let go of the bike and I went wobbling and sprawling into one of our neighbors' bushes. I didn't learn how to ride a bike until a month later, after a lot of bodily injuries, including minor scratches on my knees and shins and this awful scar on my jaw.

I'm trying to look at myself in the mirror, but all that there is to see is a blurry picture of the girl I used to be back before high school, back when cycling was still exciting and scary. But now, I realize that exciting and scary don't really mix together. Back when I'm still learning how to bike, in every practice, I'm always looking forward to it, but I couldn't brush off the fear that I might injure myself again. Fear and excitement are like oil and water. One will always float over the other. And that being said, with all the excitement of life, there's always fear floating on the surface.

By the time I arrive at school, I'm already figuring out what excites my friends and what fear lingers in them.

The first time I see Lance in his locker, chatting with our friend and Lance's cousin, Gale Vanderbilt, and high-fiving passersby, I already figured him out. Back since the start of school, Lance was just my friend and everyone rarely notices him in the hallways. But now, after his party, most of the students come up to him and slap a high five or give him a simple pat in the back. Others tell their friends how awesome the party was and his obsession, telling them that they've been dubbed as knights.

"And you said your dad came home and broke the party off?" Gale asks doubtfully. She hasn't been around since my childhood, but when she moved in town in the middle of freshman year and transfered in our school, we've been friends since.

Lance, pleased and ecstatic with his newly-found attention, gleams as he turns to us. "I know right, but it didn't matter, I guess. I mean when Dad came, everyone was already pretty wasted. Including me. Saturday was a nightmare. I got hangover and my parents' scolding to bear. But it's great."

A student passes by and calls Lance, giving him a high five.

"This is so great!" he exclaims, basking in the spotlight. Lance, always wanting to be noticed, gets his excitement from the attention everyone is giving him.

The hall is full of students, walking and talking, waiting for the first bell. Rut and his friends are one of those students, chatting with each other and greeting everyone back when they're noticed. Though being only one of the popular students, Rut has always been alleged the most popular student in the school, always being the center of attention and in every party there is known. As we walk across where they're hanging, Lance acts a bit uneasy with everyone noticing him, which leads to his fear—interacting with the popular students with his newly-gained popularity.

But in the middle of the crowd's cheer and praises, Rut grins as he watches Lance, getting attention. When we reach them, Rut welcomes Lance with an enthusiastic smile and pats his back.

"You're cool, bro," he says, "It was the best." Before Lance can react, the bell rings and Rut's friends call him. Running and turning around, he raises two thumbs up and winks at Lance, and before he catches up to them, he waves at me and Gale.