Of Sails and Souls

Chapter Eleven

"I'm curious, Ent, what exactly did you give my brother to save him?" Nalu stood at the helm, unable to stop her admiration for The Bountiful.

Shikes, it really was fast.

"I used my blood, Captain." Ent stood just to her right, having performed all her tasks promptly and effectively. "Sorian blood has a substance in it that allows us to breathe underwater. When given to land-dwellers, it helps to push the water out of the lungs. An extreme measure, I will admit, but your brother was near death. A moment longer under the waves and he would have passed into Kolas."

It was strange to hear people talk of Kolas when Nalu had technically been there, or at least, she'd been in the waiting area that led into Kolas. Sometimes she even forgot she had died, until she tried to sleep. Then the nightmares reminded her of how much the trials had scarred her.

"Well, thank you. Your sacrifice helped save my brother. That is something I—" Nalu caught herself. Something she couldn't repay? Ent had killed her father. Indirectly or not, she'd been involved. They weren't even close to being even.

"You are welcome," Ent said simply. "I must see to Granite now. He knows so little of the terminology used at sea." The sorian walked briskly away, and Nalu wondered if she had actually seen sadness in Ent's eyes. No, it was probably just her imagination.

"Hey there, Lulu." Makani walked slowly up the steps towards her. "We've been at sea for twenty hours now. How does it feel to be Captain?" He leaned against the railing, trying to catch his breath.

Her heart twisted cruelly inside of her. He looked so frail and helpless. How close had he come to dying? "You really should rest, Makky. We don't need any navigational help yet. Seriously, I'm ordering you to rest. Take my room."

He moved to obey her and then stopped. "I understand now, I think."

"What?" Nalu glanced over at him, brows furrowed. What was he talking about? And why did it fill her with dread?

"I think I understand your fear of death. I was so close and..." he cleared his throat. "It's just not pleasant. So yes, I now understand--even just a small part--of what you endured standing up to Kane and his crew. You are so brave, Nalu."

Why were tears in her eyes? Nalu brushed them angrily away. She was a captain now and couldn't afford to show weakness to the crew, even her brother. How did he know she feared death? Even as she danced with it with every reckless act she made. "Thank you, Makky. I appreciate it."

He rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged. "It's no problem. Really. Just know I support you and care about you." The response felt forced, and Nalu wondered if there was still hidden anger towards her.

"Thanks, but seriously, go rest!" She shooed him away playfully.

"Whatever." He tried to crack a smile but it never came close to reaching his eyes. As he retreated, her eyes remained fastened on him, trying to drown the guilt that started to fill her. What was her problem? She was acting far too emotional. Maybe she could ask Ent for some practical tips for suppressing such feelings.

Clearing her mind, she forced herself to focus on sailing. She was trying to find a siren. That was the mission, the goal, the only thing she needed to think about. What would her mother be like? Were those memories of achingly beautiful women with secret smiles and glowing hair accurate? The eyes that held so much allure that you wanted to be swallowed up in their gaze.

No. Nalu shook her head with a quiet chuckle, fists clenched tightly around the wheel.

She was going to disappoint her. All of the enchanting memories were false, created by a broken and hurting child who had always known the truth but had tricked herself into believing otherwise. Now all she had was a horrific nightmare dressed up as a pretty, innocent daydream.