Of Sails and Souls

Chapter Nine

The tired resignation in Makani's eyes was worth it. Nalu tried to feel a little sorry for all the surprises she was throwing at him, but it felt too normal. This was something she would have pulled before.

Before.

The teasing moment was gone.

"So, yeah, this is Granite. He's only been on one ship before, but he remembers a lot about how one is sailed. Plus, he's extremely agile and clever." Nalu narrowed her eyes as Granite clutched his chest with a dramatic sigh.

"I am honored, Nalu. Honestly, your approval is all I want in life." Ent moved to smack him, but he scampered away. "Whoa, easy there, terrifying warrior. I've already experienced enough of your wrath today."

The raised eyebrow Makani gave said a lot. You hired this idiot?

She shrugged. Now he had someone else who never took anything seriously for fear of feeling any real emotions. Shikes, she really needed to stop with these self-revelations.

"Granite, don't make me regret the fifteen gold pieces I'm paying you for this. Also, it's Captain to you." She noted with satisfaction that the mention of money shut him up pretty quick, though the grin never left his face--did it ever?

"Fifteen?!" Makani exploded. "Nalu, can we please discuss this? In private?"

She nodded loftily. "Of course, dear brother. Crew, give us a moment." Walking briskly around the corner of a shoe store, she motioned for Makani to follow.

"This is crazy. You're crazy. This whole thing is crazy. Please tell me you realize that." He folded his arms, and Nalu was hit with how similar to Papa he was. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she attempted an eye-roll.

"His family is starving. They came to Uise looking for a new life and haven't caught a break yet. Also, I'm not just throwing the money away. I do think he'll be of help." Frustration welled up inside Nalu like a lake pressing at the banks of a dam. Why did he always have to try and tell her what to do?

Makani ran a tired hand through his hair and groaned. "And you believed him? Nalu, he stole from us! He could easily have lied to you. You trust too easily."

"And you don't trust anyone!" she shouted. "Everyone is out to hurt you in life. That's how you view the world. I get it, you think I'm immature and have no idea what I'm doing. But I don't think trusting people is a flaw." Her chest heaved as she kept back hot tears that burned behind her blurry vision. Shikes, why was she yelling?

His eyes widened in pain. "Is that how you think of me? That I'm some broken human who has been hurt so many times that I no longer know how to trust? Because you'd be right."

The venom and anger in his words drove the breath out of Nalu's lungs. "What?" she whispered.

"Just because I was young doesn't mean that losing Mama to death and Papa to elixir didn't affect me. It just didn't affect me in the same way as you. You, you try not to feel anything real. Emotions terrify you. The difference is that I know what I'm feeling and I don't deny it. I just don't act on them because that leaves me vulnerable to being abandoned again." The last word was spoken in a heart-shattering whisper.

How had she never known? Nalu stood there, numb. What was she supposed to do? What was she supposed to say?

"Just forget it," he muttered. "We have one crew member and we still need one more at least before we can go find your mother. Just... don't make any stupid decisions just so you can keep up your facade of not caring. Because I know you do. I'll be in the pub two streets down if you need me." With that, he turned and walked away.