Dream On

Chapter Twenty

Hello everybody! I'm back with faster updates ;) the coronavirus might be boring, but at least there's more time to write! If you wanna comment on something, please please please do I love reading your thoughts ;3

so tell me where you think this book is going, because honestly, I have no idea how it's going to end since I had major writer's block for a while and I was just writing stuff... whatever, it's fine, we're kind of going somewhere with the book!!

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As I walked back into the house, I couldn't shake off my uneasy feelings about Ryder and Meaghan. I felt like I had belonged, but with Lucas gone, Meg and Ryder breaking up, and Lilly doing who-knew-what, I had no idea what I was going to do in this town. Leo was just a player, and I was sure as hell not going to be his next play-thing. Caden... well, I didn't really know anything about Caden, except for that he was really mysterious. And Austin, he was nice and all, but I needed to find someone that I could actually trust. Somehow, I didn't think that was him.

I sighed and called Isaac, who had left a note that he had gone to brave waiting outside of Trader Joe's for two hours just to get us more veggie straws. "Hey Talia," his voice came from the speakers of my phone. "I'm about half an hour away from being able to see the store."

"Haha, that's what you get for trying to go to a busy store during a pandemic," I taunted jokingly. "You'll get in there sooner or later, right?"

He muttered something inaudible before finally saying, "Jake is here too, he's just waiting outside of Target."

I rubbed my temples, trying to understand. "I'm sorry, did you just tell me that you both went to different stores? What the hell are you even going to buy at Target, a fucking lightbulb?"

"Language, Talia," he chided mockingly. "Be a good example, I have you on speakerphone." There was silence before he added, "Now there's a kid behind me saying that he wants to buy a 'fucking lightbulb,'" he chuckled.

I laughed along with him. "Watch out for the mother, she might beat you up when she finds out that your little sister was saying curse words." Sitting down on my bed, I lay down on my back and stared at the ceiling. "Can I talk to you? Without your speakerphone on," I added quickly.

I heard some rustling on the other end before I heard my brother's deep voice again. "Sure, what's up? Are you sure that you can't wait for me to get home?"

Huffing, I chewed on my lip before replying. "I mean, I guess I can wait," I responded tentatively. "It works better for you. Actually, on second thought, I'll wait. I want Jake to be here too so that we can all talk it out as a family." The last word felt strange and foreign on my tongue, yet it felt right. In some ways, we were a family, even though we weren't blood-related. However, since our parents were getting married, then it wasn't really that much of a stretch, though the three of us had really bonded, especially after Lucas' death.

"Family," Isaac repeated faintly. "That's a word that we haven't used for a long time, huh?"

I nodded, even though he couldn't see me. "True, but it seems right for the three of us, at least," I replied, smiling to myself.

Look at me, purposely leaving out Mom and Dick... I mean, Nick.

I hung up after saying a short goodbye, then continued staring up at the white ceiling. What would have happened if Lucas hadn't died, if Meg and Ryder hadn't broken up, if I hadn't moved here, if Mom hadn't married Frank... if Dad had still been here.

Dad.

My history with my father was a difficult thing. Somedays we were a-okay, and some days we were trying to kill each other, literally. My mind wandered through memories of him, both good and bad.

First day of kindergarten. Mom was at work, so Dad had volunteered to drive me to school. I had been so excited when he decided to let me ride in the front seat, since Isaac was taking the bus with his friends. We had been fine, on the road, not that much traffic, just a very excited kid in the front seat, eating her breakfast burrito while her dad sang old songs from the '90s. I had been so engrossed in my own excitement that I didn't notice that my dad had already drunk two bottles of beer, and was working on his third. As soon as we got on to the highway, there were problems that started to arise. Cars were speeding everywhere, and my dad was tailgating like crazy and swerving around like a madman. The cops pulled us over and my dad was fined for God-knows-how-much money, and I never went to my first day of kindergarten.

Coming home from school one day. Third grade. Isaac and I were walking home with some friends, and Dad and Mom were standing in front of the doorstep, waving at us with smiles on their faces. We said goodbye to our friends, and then we forgot about our homework and had a dance party instead. It was just playing Wii Just Dance, but that was the last time we were ever together, happy, as a complete family.

"Stop!" I was screaming, tears streaming down my face as my dad threw another piece of furniture at the wall, nearly hitting me. Isaac hushed me and carried me down to the basement while we both hid down there, silently crying. Mom spent six hours searching for us that night after she sent Dad to the bar to calm down. When she finally found us, we all stayed in the basement, huddled together as Mom attempted to convince us that Dad was just a little tired.

More memories flooded my mind as I laid down on my mattress, a sobbing mess.

Dad hugging all of us close during a thunderstorm as we all huddled in fear.

All of us crying as Dad stormed out of the house with suitcases.

Dad's new wife calling our house. "He's dead," she had said in a voicemail before hanging up.

Dad's funeral. Mom and Frank had been dating and hadn't gone. Isaac and I were driven by our aunt, who pretty much hated our guts.

My vision blurred, and the memories stopped as I heard knocking on the door. Giving my face a quick wipe, I splashed some water on my face, hoping to disguise the fact that I had been crying. Then I opened the door and let Isaac and Jake inside, keeping silent.

The truth was, my dad really only had two emotions: happy or extremely angry. He wasn't a bad dad, he just made a lot of mistakes. That was why I didn't want Mom to remarry again. All three of us struggled with parent-child relationships, and I supposed we all just didn't trust our parents anymore.

The sad reality was, I was done trying to trust my mom. I had essentially given up on the hope that maybe the next guy she married would be better, yet they only seemed to get worse.

My life in a nutshell.

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Hello, how are you all doing during this fine sheltering-in-place?

I'm thinking of publishing a new story... comment if you think I should!

Petalleaf xx