What Falls Never Fades

XII

"What is it with you and changing who you have feelings for every waking second of your life" Pluto asked, frustrated as he paced the small room.

"I'm not trying to!  It's not like I really have any real control over it" I squeaked, my head in my hands.

"You're going to get yourself killed if you're not careful.  This man is dangerous.  He left on his own, without aid and sold himself to the Gauls.  It doesn't matter if he's beginning to develop feelings for you or not, the stakes remain the same" he replied.

"Wait, is he" I asked, kind of surprised.

"I'm not entertaining this, Lucas.  You need to focus on getting stronger, not on getting a man" he sighed.

"You didn't answer my question" I replied, frustrated from always trying to do what he told me to.

"And I'm not going to.  I'm trying to guide you and it always seems like you're only half listening" he snapped slightly.

"Because I'm trying to live my own life.  Alexander can take care of himself there and I don't want to regret not doing certain things" I snapped back.

"Perhaps you should discuss that with Jupiter.  He's always looking for new lovers" he replied coldly.

"Don't be ridiculous.  Besides, the only man I really wanted was Remus.  How can I justify ever sleeping with his brother" I asked, running my hand through my hair before squeaking as he smacked me.

"I'm sorry but, will you pull yourself together and not think about what you would let these men do to you" he asked, frustrated.

"If that's how you really view me then why bother guiding me" I replied, my voice cold as I looked away from him.

"Because you're my son and I want you to be successful but you won't listen to me" he sighed. 

"Because you're not listening to what I want.  So what if Rome frowns upon this?  I've already deserted so what's the point of giving a damn what Rome wants" I said tiredly.

"Find a way to get back to him but focus on getting stronger.  They won't win this war if you don't.  You won't survive the war if you don't find a way to him" he said before disappearing.

"Are you alright, Lucas" Brennos asked from where he was standing over near the window.

"Yes, why" I asked as I pulled myself to my feet before rolling up the blankets. 

"You were talking in your sleep" he replied, just watching me.

"What did you hear" I asked as my cheeks flushed bright red.

"The majority of it," he said, smirking slightly.

"I was just talking to my father," I said quietly, wrapping my arms around myself.

"You have some interesting conversations with him.  Mine just tells me to do stupid quests" he said, laughing slightly.

"Mine is always going on about how I should be a better citizen and not think about your brother all the time..." I said without thinking and squeaked, turning red again.

"Wasn't aware that you always thought about Remus" he smirked before grabbing a letter off the table, "This came this morning while you were asleep."

"Thank you" I squeaked, taking it from him and as I read it, my eyes filled with tears.

Lucas Cispius,

You know, that was rather sneaky of you to run off, and I do not appreciate being taken for a fool.  I suggest you come back as soon as possible and I may consider being lenient on your punishment.  If you are caught by a patrol, you can count on becoming my personal slave and losing any and all rights that you once had.  You will be stripped of your military rank and your status as a free born Roman male.  It'd be wise to return to camp and beg for forgiveness, but then again, when was the last time you made a wise decision?