-Suffer In Silence part 1-

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Please read the authors note at the end of this story <3

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The room of the hospital was cold. They'd opened a window, but why I didn't know. The light was turned off, for they had told me to get some sleep, but I didn't dare to close my eyes and let my mind have the power over me.

The excruciating feeling that haunted me only got worse by each minute passing, and I felt more empty than I could ever have imagined.

Literally empty.

I didn't know what happened or why, but the bleeding started while I was waiting for the microwave to heat up some left overs from that day before. I suddenly felt pain run through me, and when the blood started flowing I knew something wasn't right.

I was stubborn at first. I always hated hospitals and if I didn't have to be in one, I stayed far away. When I started feeling lightheaded and nearly passed out from the loss of blood, I phoned an ambulance and tried to stay awake until they'd arrive.

''Miss Y/L/N, I'm sorry to inform you that you have lost your baby.'' My heart sank when I finally got the confirmation. I was only in my first trimester, but that didn't stop from imagining my whole life with this baby. My own child; that was something I could've only ever dreamed of.

''Due to some complications we will have to keep you here for a few days, just to monitor your progress and the usual check ups. You've lost a lot of blood, Miss Y/L/N, you're very lucky to be alive.''  The doctor was stern, but it's never nice to almost see someone die. Maybe they were happy, but I wouldn't have minded to pass away, I had nothing else to live for anymore.

''Do you want me to call someone?'' The nurse asked after I'd made myself somehow comfortable. I'd asked for extra pillows, but they didn't want to give me any since I already had two, and they also had opened a window, which now sent continuous shivers down my spine. I'd wrapped the sheets tightly around me, carful not to pull the tubes and strings I was attached to off my body.

''Uhm, no, thank you.'' She frowned upon my answer, hesitating whether to ask again or leave it be.

''Are you sure? Not even your family?'' I shook my head, blinking away the tears threatening to fall. The last thing I wanted was some nurse prying into my business.

''I don't have any family.'' I stated coldly. My parents died a long time ago and I didn't talk to my siblings anymore. I only had an aunt, but she lived in a small town in the Netherlands.

''And what about the father?'' She pressed the subject even further, much to my annoyance.

Timothée. I was pretty sure he wanted nothing to do with him after I told him I didn't want him in my or my child's life and slammed the door in his face.

''He isn't around.'' I mumbled. I suddenly felt extremely alone and sad. I realised I was the only one to thank for that. He'd begged me multiple times to reconsider, and even though I blamed him for making a stupid mistake, I saw he was sorry. I should've forgiven him for kissing someone someone else, but in that moment it seemed as if I could never get over my hatred and trustissues for him.

''Can I give my opinion?'' I looked at her on disbelief, but mostly shock. Who was she to give her opinion about something that wasn't her concern or business? But I nodded anyway, too tired to make a scene and scold her when she was really just trying to be helpful.

''I don't know what happened between you two, but believe me when I say he would like to know this happened.'' I hesitated at first, but then scribbled down the numbers on a post-it and handed her the little paper, not once looking at her as I was embarrassed and uncomfortable. I was too proud to admit she was right, but I knew she was satisfied when she left the room with a small smile on her face.

I'd finally dozed off, but was rudely awoken by the door opening and slamming forcefully. I opened my eyes, trying to adjust to the blinding lights of the room. A figure was standing over me, and after blinking a few times, the piercing colours of his eyes, his soft curls and God-carved face were what brought me back to cold reality.

''Y/N, what the fuck happened?'' He was mostly relieved to see me, but I didn't miss the hint of anger in his eyes when he looked down at me.

''Surprise.'' I breathed, my lower lip trembling as I felt my throat tighten.

''Why didn't you call me?'' All these question when all I really wanted to do was sleep and forget this ever happened. I refused to speak up, so he took a seat next to the hospital bed and stared at me intently.

''Timmy-'' a small smile crept upon his face at the name I called him.

''Can we talk about it later? I'm really tired now. You can just come back when I'm more awake.''

''No, I'm staying. Get some rest now- I'll be here when you wake.'' I smiled tiredly, already feeling myself doze off into a light sleep.

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Hi guys! How is everyone doing? I'm doing well. I've taken a few weeks off to process the thing that happened. Anyone who's read my status update a few weeks ago, knows that I'd been feeling a bit down. However, I can say I'm doing much better and I have a lot of inspiration for songs and stories. So, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It's rather sad, but also mysterious and haunting since this story isn't over yet. Okay so enough with the sentimental shit, tell me about your lives; how's everyone holding up in these corona times? How have you been entertaining themselves? Do you have any tips on how to survive these quarantine times? If you have nothing to do, don't hesitate to listen to my songs on Spotify or other streaming platforms; Marrzy is all you have to search for and you'll find my songs Split Personality, Bound To Be & Kids In Love <3 it would mean a lot to me if you listen to it!!! LOVE YOU.

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