Not Her (Part Two)

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"You should put the salve on. It'll heal it up by this evening." Eric said before leaving the room. Wanting more than anything to ignore his advice you did what he suggested. It stung and smelled but the pain eased. Laying back down on the bed you felt a wave of exhaustion emotion dragging you down into sleep.

When you woke again it was dark. Sitting up you could see the soft twinkling light from the Amity houses. A soft noise made you quietly climb out of bed and creep out to what turned out to be the living room. Eric was sitting with his head in his hands sobbing. It was odd. You couldn't help but stare at him. In your mind Eric was far too strong to cry, brave and callous. He did what he had too. Eric Coulter never cried. But here he was, in front of you, sobbing so hard that tears were dripping off his face when he realised you were in the doorway. He swiped at his face, sniffing as he stood up and tried to look stern.

"Are you going to say you're sorry now? Like that will make it better?" You asked harshly.

"I've been planning this for a year." He admitted and your eyes widened. "I paid off Tori, had your friend help. I even managed to get you clothes, the things you need to change yourself to hide. A place on your own at the edge of Amity. I thought it'd be easier this way. Rather than letting someone kill you for being..."

"Divergent. You knew. You could have said something. Warned me. You've known for a year. I don't see why you're so distraught."

"You can't see your friend again, ever. You can't talk to your parents or let them know you're alive. If you leave Amity you'll risk being recognised. It might never be safe for you to come back. We'll never speak again, see eachother again. You'll be completely alone and at any point the people who helped me get you safe could talk and we'd all be killed."

His words made you think. All the people you couldn't see anymore. There would be a funeral. Your friend would stand and watch your parents mourn for you and never be able to tell them the truth. Eric. Even when he left for Dauntless he found a way to get back into Erudite. You should have questioned it more. He'd risked so much. Everyone had.

"I should run you a bath you're still covered in... I have Dauntless clothes for you. Hair dye. Amity things for when we get you there." He babbled on. Eric rushed to his feet and hurried into the bathroom.

After a few moments you followed him. If he knew you were watching him from the bedroom he didn't say anything. This could be the last time you ever saw him again. He planned to risk his life to get you to Amity and that was it. You were someone else. The two of you had never been alone like this. "The water's ready, I'll get out of the way." Eric muttered as he sat on the edge of the bathtub. When he turned you were rushing towards him. When you reached him your hands tugged at his shirt and you kissed him. When you kept pulling him closer he slid a hand into your hair, deepening the kiss. His other hand wound around your waist to pull you closer.

After a few moments the two of you pulled away. He chuckled when you yanked his shirt off. He wanted to reach down and kiss you again but your fingers gently stroked the scars his shirt hid. Fingertips brushing slowly over each scar you couldn't pull your eyes away. Eric broke the mood. "You should, wash up. You need to be rested for tomorrow." Without thinking too hard you started to undress. Eric cleared his throat and glanced away. He turned to leave you and reached out for his hand. "I just shot you." He said as if you'd forgotten.

"As part of your insane plan to save my life. Eric you said we'll never see each other again. Ever. You've been my best friend since I was a kid. We've always been together. How am I supposed to... Don't you ever regret coming here and leaving Erudite?"

"Sometimes. When I'm alone and I miss you. I'm still sorry. I promised, promised you an Erudite husband and kids. I fucked off here and left you. Then I shot you."

"You're not sorry. Maybe you regret things but you belong here. How could I be angry that you didn't stay somewhere you didn't fit."

"Because when I'm missing you I can't help but think about what I gave up and it wasn't worth it. Now I can't fix it."

He finally looked at you. His eyes raking over you as he slowly met your eyes. "Maybe you should stop worrying and panicking and reflecting. Just, for tonight it could be like... as if..."

"I'd stayed?" he asked as you reached out for one of his hands. He let you place it on your hip. His fingers stroked their way down the outside of your thigh. His touch so light it made your skin tingle. You wanted him to touch, he was gentler than you imagined and slower. "I won't be able to let you go if we do."

Words caught in your throat. You wanted to tell Eric you needed him but that didn't seem right. It was more, that you want to be selfish and steal a moment for yourself, that you'd never dream he wouldn't be there somewhere to steal you away. Could you live without Eric. Had that ever been an option? What did you say to him now. That you never wanted him to let you go? Crush his heart by giving him what he wanted for a moment and take it away forever.

"Just say it. Please. Pleasure just say it." Eric begged, his hand trailed back up to your hip again and squeezed.

"I don't want you to let me go. I want to stay with you. I don't want to be Divergent. I wish you'd never left for Dauntless and I just want one time where who we are doesn't matter because I love you Eric and I don't want to have to go without you." You let it out in one breath. It sounded as if you couldn't keep it in a moment longer.

He nodded, using his grip on your hip to pull you to stand between his legs. His eyes fell shut as you ran your hands over his shoulders. A soft kiss was placed on his cheek and he pulled you against him in a rough tug. Your arms slid around his neck as he lifted you up. As he carried you to his bed he started kissing you, like it was the last time he'd see you. That thought made you bitter.

"I love you." Eric said nervously as he set you down on the bed. When you went to pull him to you he smiled but pulled away. He started kissing a softly trail down your stomach, down the side of your thighs. His fingertips were waking sparks as they trailed behind his kisses. When he crawled his way down between your legs your breath hitched. His fingers stroked over your core, gently brushing your clit, making your hips jerk. You moaned and Eric looked up at you with a look that couldn't be anything more than a lovesick expression. He moaned himself as he pushed a finger into your core, pumping slowly before adding another. "Fuck." He whispered to himself as a higher pitched moan bubbled out of you. He watched you for a moment, mesmerized. When he remembered himself he started to kiss his way back up your body, this time a light nip or a dart of his tongue followed. You reached down to his hand, needing more of him. He smiled as he looked up at you. Before he could tease some more or make a taunting comment you'd grabbed him by the back of the neck and pulled him over you, kissing him urgently. There was a sad whine as his fingers pulled from you but the unbuckling of his belt followed quickly. He pulled off the rest of his clothes and moved your legs to wrap around his waist.

He lined himself up and sank into you slowly. He groaned and buried his face in the uninjured side of your neck. Your hand dug at his back as his hips stilled. He waited for you to adjust. Your hips jutted against his, egging on his torturously slow pace. His lips found your as he sped the pace. He pulled away to kiss your calf as he pulled it up on his shoulder, holding your hip so he could thrust deeper. He'd heard the moans and please and he couldn't get enough. "Eric" You cried urgently.

"I know (Y/N). Fuck!" He panted out as your body started to tense around him. Everything burst and your body felt like it had wound so tight it snapped. You heard Eric moan but it sounded so far off. When you came back to yourself Eric was smiling down at you, panting as his forehead rested against yours. He kissed you and rolled to the side, grinning when you curled against him, letting him stroke your side.

"We have to get you ready for tomorrow." He said once the pair of you had caught your breath.

"I know."

"You're not moving."

"Neither are you."

"We could always stay here for a while, maybe do that again. We have until the afternoon to get you ready." He suggested. You nodded, that idea sounded better. Like he said you had all night. It wasn't until the afternoon that you had to leave him. Forever.

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