Maybe Someday [Milo Manheim]

If Love Was a Choice, I'd Always Choose You

I choke on my iced coffee, Trevor patted me on my back trying to help me force the liquid out of my windpipe.

"I .. you.. what the fuck are you talking about?" I was trying to get oxygen into my lungs as the burning started to fade.

"Auden.. have you really never thought about it? You guys love being together, you officially can't keep your hands off each other and let's be honest the only reason you called me is because you felt like you couldn't call him..."

"He's my best friend! I've know him since he was 5.. he's a kid—-"
"Auden he's 18 and you guys have fucked.. the innocence is so far gone... look yes when you guys were younger you were the inseparable little best friends. You got older.. you found yourself.. kinda. He hit puberty and fell in love with you because ... well your literally every guys wet dream—-"
"Trevor."
"—-no interruptions! Like I was saying.. right your hot, Milo fell in love with you... oh right. Okay so your telling me that every part of you looks at Milo and sees nothing?"

"I love him like a friend, he's sweet, kind, sure I find him really attractive after he turned like 17.. but he's my rock. He always makes me laugh and I can practically read his mind."

"Okay maybe this is hard for you because you don't actually know what love is suppose to feel like.. let's think about this logically. Think about all the fights you've been in and how you've been stressed out, when did it all start?"
"When we started doing stuff..it's changed our dynamic—-"

"—-How often do you think of Milo? Be honest.."
"Um.. I guess most of the time but we kind of have a lot going on."
"You turned down a movie deal, are considering a move to New York and are currently living in another country why?"

"To make Milo happy.."
"Why does it matter?"
"When Milo's happy it makes me happy.." Every friendship works that way.. right?
"Milo sweats more than anyone I've ever seen in my life and it grosses everyone on set out, except you..why?"
"I just always thought he smells more like a man when —"

"Or because your in love with him so nothing he does is 'gross'. Last question.. out of every single person you have ever hooked up with or spent time with..  have you ever felt this way about them?"

I didn't answer... I felt like my stomach flipped and not in a good way. Wait what.. No I never thought about Milo that way.. I've never wanted Milo that way.

But I do..

"I'm guessing your answer is Milo.." Trevor answered for me. "When you've known someone for so long.. and they've become such a permanent part of your life, it's hard to realize when you started to fall in love with them."

I wasn't even sure what to think or what to say. Trevor and I were back in the apartment complex as we made our way up to our floor on the elevator.
Milo, Meg, Pearce, Ariel and Chandler were all walking out of the elevator next to us as we stepped onto the floor.
I could feel the glare from Milo's eyes as they settled on Trevor next to me. He walked towards me but didn't stop and continued to our apartment making sure to make a comment as he passed.

"Of course one fucking fight and you run right back to him."

"Milo—"
"Actuallyyyy you should probably let him cool off on this one.." Trevor pulled me back from going after Milo, he heard the anger in Milo's words loud and clear.
"What's going on?" Meg asked as the rest of the group met us in the hallway.
"Are they dating or not? I'm so confused." Ariel tried whispering to Pearce as Meg questioned Trevor and I, she wasn't great at whispering.

"I'm confused too."

I was so angry.. beyond angry.. livid.