Maybe Someday [Milo Manheim]

Best Friends

"I'm sorry you what?"
"Audennnn, I said don't make it weird." My palms started sweating as I put my car in park in the driveway. Well this was poorly thought out, Audie lived with me now.. I couldn't like just drop her off and ignore her questions.

"You left me right after things got pretty heated in your bedroom and went to Canada.. you were still kind of on my mind when Alexis hooked up with me..."

"I'm sorry."
"It's fine.. I was just trying to move on... wait you weren't jealous of me and Alexis were you?" She did end up in a hospital after seeing photos of us..

Auden just turned around and gave me a look before entering the house. I was quick on her heels as she got to her bedroom.

"Hey hey that's not an answer."
"Milo I wasn't jealous, I can't be jealous of nothing."

"Right.. okay." A guy could dream right?

"Thanks for bringing me home.." I pulled her against my chest in a tight hug, at least I had my best friend back. "Anytime, like I said.. no matter what your my best friend first. Also I'm glad your here with us Audie." I mumbled a goodnight to her before giving the top of her head a quick kiss.

"Milo?" I heard Auden's voice and turned my lamp on. "Baby what's wrong?" She was standing in some pjs in the door way.

"This is stupid.. but can I sleep with you?"
"Not stupid, come here.." I scooted over so she could get in. She snuggled into my side right away as I turned the light off.
"What's wrong?"
"Well it's only been a couple days but I've been happier than I've been in a awhile.. but sometimes it's hard to sleep. It's like I have this empty void inside of me at all times.. and so I try to fill it with things to make it better... but at night I just feel so alone and the panic sets in."

"Don't take this the wrong way but is that why your always with guys or drinking?"
"Yeah pretty much.. I know I don't handle things well." She started playing with the ring on my finger, my Zed ring is the only one I kept on while I slept.
"It's okay.. um another question?"
"Yes?"
"You know when you told me you needed me .. because you needed to not fill so empty? What's it about sex that makes it better?"

"It doesn't really make it better.. it's mostly just helps me... it's kind of hard to explain. It's like a distraction."
"It gets you out of your head?"
"Actually yeah that's a better way to say it."

"That's how I felt with Alexis .. I was going to tell her we shouldn't just jump into it. Then I realized that it was helping... but also then Alexis turned into you.." My fingers were wrapping strands of Auden's hair around my fingers. It was weird, as we laid here it felt effortless but at the same time it felt like it was taking so much control to not kiss her.

"Milo.. what do you see in me?"
"You really have to ask?" I could make out her nodding her head in the darkness. We were perched on our elbows staring at each other, it was like a deja vu moment. We had spent so many nights like this, before I had ever made a move and pushed things to this weird place we are in now.

"Audie.. your everything. Your the first person that was ever nice to me and talked to me because you wanted to. You didn't care who my mom was.. Even as we got older and my mom wasn't even the most famous person you knew anymore. Now that you have as many followers as the Kardashians, you never once thought of us as beneath you. You've never been fake, you've supported me in everything I've done. You went to every play of mine you could, my volleyball games, you helped me pick out presents for my first girlfriend. You were there for me that whole summer while I shot my first movie because my mom got called away for a show and I needed a guardian.."
"I was definitely the wrong choice on that one.. I let you have your first drink that summer.." Auden put her head in her hands and rolled into me.
"Yeah.. you are the least responsible person I know but my mom knew that I would've hated having a handler babysitting me."

"Anyways back to what I was saying, you've always seen me and you've always showed up. Your the only person that can make me laugh hard enough to snort. Your so drop dead gorgeous it should be illegal and you are still the sweetest person I know.."

I felt something wet on my shirt, Auden was crying? I titled her head to look up at me.
"And you're even pretty when you cry... I wish you could see what I see when I look at you.."
"I do too." Using the pad of my thumb I wiped her tears away. It was so hard to not press my lips against hers. I missed how they felt, so soft and plump. Apparently I had been staring at them longer than I intended. My thumb was running across her bottom lip.
"Milo..."
"I know, I'm not going to.." I released her bottom lip and let my hand fall away from her face.
"Let's go to bed."

10 Days until Graduation

I was hanging out with Owen, Ana and Stella while Auden was with her therapist.
"I can't believe we are graduating in 10 days.."

"Right it's been a crazy year for all of us." My fingers lazily strummed my guitar while we sat around Stella's room. Stella played a couple of keys on the piano. I didn't realize just how preoccupied I had been with Auden lately since she got home two months ago.

"I feel like I've been a shitty friend...am I always like this when Auden's home?"
"Not usually, I mean we all know you are in love with her but the last two months you've been a bit more excessive.." Stella tried to find the words as she continued to play around on the piano.
"Yeah and you've been like kind of secretive ... what's going on?"

"She's with Trevor.. it's just been hard I guess."
"Okay Milo we have known Auden for awhile now because of you.. we know she's not actually dating Trevor." Well, didn't see this going this way, I gave in and told them about everything that had happened. I spared the intimate details...

"So.. what are you going to do?" Owen asked as the girls were still processing what I said.
"What do you mean?"
"With Aud? Are you going to try and keep chasing after her or try and move on?"
"I'm not entirely sure... I mean I chased after her and she kept having small break downs after and then I tried to move on and she ended up in the hospital.."
"Well it seems like that was more with the issues she has with herself.. not you. I think you just need to focus on your friendship and keep being the amazing friend you always are. Though if you start connecting with someone you shouldn't be afraid to try something new just because your afraid Auden's going to have a panic attack. She wouldn't want you living like that anyways."

"Your right Ana, thanks guys for always being so open minded... so who's excited about Cabo?"

.............................................................................

Okay I think I'm sold on Madison Beer as Auden... haha I just feel better knowing I found someone that fits the vision in my head.

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