SAJDAH- A Love Story... #missionDesi ✔️

Chapter 24:: I Wanted To Trust Him

"I was an accident. She didn't want me," the back of my throat was already hurting, "Sharanjeet Arora ka naam suna hai?" I asked him and the lines on his forehead slightly disappeared.

"The famous singer? She died a couple of years ago, right?" He questioned back.

"Five to be exact," I sighed, "she was my biological mother." This part of the story was easy but, details. I needed a lot of strength for it.

"When she married my dad, she saw his money. All she wanted was to release an album of her own and that did happen. She started getting offers But, before she could accept them, she fell pregnant..... With me. Daarji told her that after her pregnancy she could go to india and live her dream," I sighed allowing myself to breath again.

My nails were already digging into his skin. I tried pulling away but that only led him to tighten his grip around my hand. This hand holding wasn't awkward anymore. It made me feel comfortable.

"That, obviously, never happened. Being a so called good mother, she was expected to nurture me. I was three when she wanted me dead so she could be free. I don't know how she tried getting rid of me but, her sister saved me," I could just feel the goosebumps already.

"Dad loved her enough to not throw her behind the bars. He made her leave but, he began hating me. He used to see her in me," I gulped another sore lump, "I was five when my Daarji decided that I needed someone in my life who would love me unconditionally and support my father too even though Daarji, himself loved and pampered me a lot. I needed a mother. My naña ji (maternal grandfather) suggested that my masi (mother's sister) should marry my dad and I was around six when she became my mom. And yes, I love her to bits." I passed him a weak smile but Hussain didn't mirror it. All I saw on his face was concern and.... Pain?

"She was an angel- exact opposite of her sister. She wasn't looking for love in this marriage. She was there for me. She was the one who got me crazy about singing," I felt so calm talking about her. Gosh, I miss her, "After years of living together under the same roof, my parents finally fell in love and thus my brother, Happy, was born. I thought we will be a big happy family once again. That didn't happen. She was diagnosed with some medical problem that she must have picked up during her pregnancy."

Chills ran down my spine when a vision of her crossed my mind. She used to be a chubby person with fair glowing skin, always laughing and it took her a month to turn completely pale. She had shed quite a lot of weight too which made her bones shine through. All the smiles and laughs were replaced my tears and pain. I closed my eyes and allowed a warm drop of tear to roll down my cheek.

"Dad didn't let go off her. No matter what. He had said to me once that we will get through this and we would have if my so called birth mother wouldn't have popped back in our lives. Remember the dirty news about her affair with that new singer? He used her the same way she used my dad. That very thing made me realise that Karma does serve you what you truly deserve.

All of a sudden she remembered that she had left a three year old daughter and a loving husband way behind her. I was seventeen when she came back to take me with her. Darn! She was in shock when she realised that her sister married her husband. Those days my mom used to be in the hospital. God knows how but, she made her believe that she was the reason no one was happy. And that if she left us forever, then everyone's life would be easier and that it's not fair that she took her sister's spot."

I paused for a moment to breath again. My heart was racing as I reluctantly looked up to meet Hussain's gaze. He sat in the same positions but this time his eyes weren't just filled with concern but tears too. My heart felt heavy when little flash backs started playing inside my head.

"That particular day, I remember, I had learnt to bake a cake and so I took it to the hospital for her to try it first. She couldn't- She committed suicide," I loud gasp escaped my lips, "her hand, drenched in blood. Drop by drop her life slipped out of her body and I watched. I bloody watched!" My voice was getting louder and louder but I didn't care anymore.

I couldn't gulp down the knot. I just wanted to cry it out- pour my heart out to him. I was shivering- not because of the cold breeze but because what had happened years ago. It felt like it was happening all over again.

"You know what it feels like?" Tears rolled down my cheeks when I looked up at him. Thankfully he wasn't pitying me but, his eyes showed pain- pain that he probably felt for me.

"She was my world- I loved her more than I loved my dad and I couldn't do anything to save her. I stood there while nurses and doctors rushed in and out of the room. I was so helpless I-"

~~~HUSSAIN'S POV~~~

I held on to her hand tightly while she poured her heart out. With every word that she spoke, I felt my heart aching. Tears freely rolled down her cheek and all I wanted to do was, go back in time and put some senses into that Sharanjeet Arora. How could she hurt her own daughter- her sister- her entire family? Darn that woman!

Another round of tears escaped Preet's eyes as she looked up to meet mine. I was finding it hard to keep an eye contact because all I wanted to do right now was pull her into a hug and comfort her but, I also wanted to look away to hide the tears in my eyes. Isn't knowing that she was a mistake bad enough already that her mother made her suffer even more?

"I was helpless I-" Preet ran out of air. She paused midway to suck in a deep breath and possibly the strength to speak too. I feel so bad for forcing her to talk. But then, Looking at her right now, I don't think she ever got to express herself about this in front of anyone. Pain, anger, frustration, confusion- it all showed in her eyes and face right now. I am glad she could finally express it.

She covered her face with her free hand and continued, "my biological mother drank too much that night while she was running from the cops. She had an accident and died on the spot." Preet finished and I immediately wrapped my arms around her.

At first she resisted but then she slowly her trembling hands gripped the back of my T-shirt and her face snuggled into the crook of my neck. The vibration of her body indicated her silent sobs and so, I wrapped my arms around her even tighter. Slowly rubbing her back, I planted a kiss on the top of her head.

"I didn't want her to die. She was supposed to go to jail. Death was not the right punishment for her- I wanted her to suffer," she scoffed into my T-shirt.

We sat in the same position for a couple of minutes before she pulled away and looked at me with her puffy eyes, "sometimes I wish she should have killed me when I was in her woumb. At least a lot of lives would have been saved. Nana ji wouldn't have died from a heart attack, mum wouldn't have had to marry a man ten years older than her, and that woman would have been alive and possibly living her dream."

I watched her in disbelief while she spoke like it was all her fault. I agree that her biological mother did ruin so many innocent lives but, Preet deserved to live. Being a beautiful soul that she is, I am sure that ALLAH, himself, would have guarded her at every step.

"You see where my hatred for the industry comes from?" She slightly chuckled with her voice still quite heavy, "all my life I have been told that monsters live there but, I never understood this until I actually met my real mother. People there have brilliant masks and you never know how many they put on each time," she sighed, "they are brilliant actors and manipulative ugly souls."

Masks? Is that how she takes me and my concern towards her? She thinks I am pretending all the time? Does she think that I am manipulating her?!

"You think of me the same way?" I asked curiously and her eyes shot up to meet mine. She stared at me for a couple of seconds and then shook her head.

"Why wouldn't I? You did the same thing to Noor."