1D Preferences

Hope

This is just for you to read, and hopefully it brings you comfort. So sit back, relax and read this story, my story.

I have this journal, well several journals, but the one km filling now stretches through this entire hear of 2014, and the end of 2013 through the beginning of 2014 was very hard for me. I was severely depressed. I'm flipping though the ink filled pages and came across a poem I wrote during one of those nights when the pen and paper were my only friends, the only ones who could understand my pain, and I wanted to share it with you...

"I've hit the point

Where it's too hard

I've lost my strength

And gained some scars

The word still lingre

Through my vains

They burn and cut

And cause me pain

I've lost all hope

I have no pride

I'm all alone

With nowhere to hide

I'm suddenly trapped

With no escape

When help comes

It will be too late

I'm giving up

My demons won

Its hard to say,

But I'm fucking done"

I don't share this with you to receive a pity plea, or to get you to feel sorry for me, or to have you tell me I'm good at writing poems or anything like that. I wanted wanted to share this with you because even though I didn't physically self-harm with a razor to my skin, I've been clean of depression and emotional self-harm since April of this month. I know several of you are still fighting that war, that godforesaken war. I know, I've been there. I've wrote my suicide notes, I've stared at the pills that could take it all away, I know what you're going through. I know the thoughts that trace your mind and the strength it takes to put it down. I know. But you can do it. Believe me when I say that it does get better. And time will heal the wounds, patience will seal the cracks that your broken heart has made. You will be able to wake up one day and finally breathe. I promise you this. I have never been more certain of anything in my life. You can get through this, this is a battle, and though you may lose a few of those along the way, you will win the war. You are beautiful in ways you could not begin to fathom. The way your smile lights up when you see something you truly love, do t you dare tell me you're not beautiful, you haven't seen yourself the way others see you, don't put yourself down when there is so many amazing things about you. How could someone as beautiful and as promising as you, hate themselves so much? How can you not see everything you have to offer tot he world. Take a deep breath, love. Then take another one. And another, and another, and another until you can breathe calmly. Do not put yourself under the thoughts of depression, don't you dare let those demons win. When you take away your life, you take away every single chance of every day getting better, you don't cancel the chances of it getting worse.  You cannot imagine how many people love you, please take care of yourself. Whether you see it or not, you're worth it. And I love you. Stay strong beautiful.

Love as always,

Kate Xx