Camp Camp One-Shots

"Why would you help him?"

Just wanna apologize for how bad it is but I'm off (for corona) so ig I'mma be writing more.

Warnings: swearing. Tell me if there's anything else.

~•~

"We have a problem."

"If you're talking about the flaming pillar," Preston pointed to a giant wooden pillar with Quartermaster strapped to it. Ered was yelling at Nurf to pour more gasoline while Dolf watched. "That's our solution to last week's problem." Preston finished, going back to tanning. Neil rolled his eyes.

"No, you dramatic buffoon, I'm talking about a different problem!" Neil squeaked, voice cracking at the sheer nervousness he felt.

Preston rolled his eyes behind his too-big sunglasses and set sat up in the lawn chair, crossing his legs. He patted the spot in front of him on the chair, indicating he wanted Neil to sit.

So he did.

"What happens to be the problem, and why are you asking me?" Preston dramatically voiced, a little too loud and movements a little too vibrant.

"Firstly, stop that." Neil grabbed Preston by the arms and held them at the boys side. "I don't need everyone to know I'm coming to you for advice."

Preston perked up immediately at this.

"Advice? Oooo! Now, I'm intrigued!" Preston mock whispered. Neil rolled his eyes, a small blush rising to his cheeks. Preston smiled even wider at this.

He leaned in, close, to Neils face. Their noses were almost brushing at how close he got.

"Who?" Preston asked. Neil gulped.

"Uhm..you know him." He said, voice low.

Neil expected Preston to falter at that. Push him off the chair and call him every slur in the book but he didn't. He just nodded, urging Neil to continue.

"He's...he's your best...friend."

Preston thought it over. Mulled the clues in his mind. It didn't take long for him to figure out who it was.

His eyes widened, ever so slightly. Neil thought he saw Preston stiffen and some type of sadness flash across his wide eyes but it was gone in an instant. Neil was sure it was imagined.

"Harrison?" Preston guessed, even though he was sure he was right. Neil nodded, not looking Preston in the eyes. A smile flashed across his face, so wide and dazzling it hurt to look at a little bit.

"That's perfect-"

"How is that-"

"Okay!" Preston interrupted Neils interruption.

"What I think you should do is get him some flowers! He's a hopeless romantic and loves flowers. Then, set them up at a nice spot in the woods! Maybe a picnic?

"When you actually ask him out though, use a magic pun. He loves puns and if you use one to ask him out he'll be like putty in your hands!" Preston rambled, voice getting higher as he went. 

Neil took mental notes of everything Preston told him, planning it out in his head.

"Uhm...thanks, Pres. That-...I'll take what you said into account. I'mma go get my stuff ready." Neil smiled, rising from the spot on the plastic chair. Preston waved him off, telling him to go ask Nerris for a few things. She owes Preston anyway.

A few minutes after Neil left, Preston heard a voice from behind his chair.

"Now why the hell would you do that?" the familiar, nasally, voice of Max mocked, slow and pretentious as always. Preston rolled his eyes.

"Why hello to you too, Maxwell." Preston sneered, not turning around but sitting up in his chair. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"Oh, cut the flowery bullshit." Max sneered, smirk on his stupid little face.

A too-fake smile spread across Prestons' lips. The type of smile a mom would use when she was lying to her kids about not being mad. Of course, what would Preston know about moms? He hasn't seen his in years.

"Look, Max. I helped Neil with a problem with his crush. It's big kid stuff, so fuck off." he hissed, turning his head to face Max who was now standing next to the chair. Max looked down at him, raising a singular eyebrow and Preston hated it.

"Big kid stuff? Sure." He scoffed. Preston scowled.

"Yes. Big kid stuff you're prepubescent mind would know nothing about!"

"Ooo. Prepubescent! Is that a new vocab word-"

"Oh fuck off, would you already?" Preston snapped. "If you have nothing helpful to say then just leave. Me. Be."

"You have a crush on Harrison." Max said. His voice was definite and low, making sure only the two of them would hear. It wasn't a question.

Preston tensed but said nothing.

"You have a crush on him...so why would you help Neil."

Preston tilted his head slightly. He was getting increasingly annoyed with Max as of right now.

"It's just big kid stuff, you little mythic bitch. Stay out of it. You wouldn't understand."

"Oh but I do."

"How?" Preston snapped, turning to face the younger kid once more. Max looked away.

"I don't wanna talk about it." he huffed. Preston made a mental note to bother him later about it.

"Look, Maxwell, I'm tired. If you have something important to say then tell me but as of right now," he gave one last pointed stare at Max before laying back down. "Go away."

Max didn't say anything. Preston felt his presence for a few more tense moments before he left.

Preston mulled over his words, not really taking them into account. He knew what he was doing was stupid. He knew he could ruin Neils' chances, and have Harrison to himself.

But when Harrison ran up to him later that week, screeching about how Neil had asked him out and how romantic and perfect it was....

He'd do it all over again to see that big smile light up his face.

~•~
939 words