Just Love Me

Chapter 21: Ring Off

"I'm sorry," Chelsea said, wiping away moisture. "I got in my feelings seeing your belly."  I glanced down at my stomach while munching on a Twizzler. "When I saw you at the clinic, I thought..."

Oh crap, I totally forgot about that morning.

"I made a mistake," Chelsea sobbed. "I wish...I wish I never..." her words trailed off into quiet cries. I could never get used to seeing Chelsea crying. She reminded me so much of Sparkle. Tough exterior. Sensitive interior. "Elle, I've been trippin' since I got that procedure done. But what was I supposed to do? I'm only eighteen and Pierre ain't shit. But I want my baby. I miss my baby."

            I sat still as she went back and forth battling with her inner self. Talking to me. Then grabbing her head and whispering to herself. I feared she might slip into psychosis.

"I have dreams every night. My baby keeps crying and I can feel that same pinch over and over again. It won't stop. The cries won't stop."

            Discreetly, I eased the phone off the hook to dial Dr. Robinson's extension because I was severely unqualified to deal with this issue. Chelsea eyed me as I slowly brought the receiver up to my lips.

"What are you doing?" she snapped. I dropped the phone back on the hook and folded my hands under my chin, giving Chelsea all my attention. "You said I can talk to you about anything but here I am with anything and you won't talk to me." She rubbed her eyes with her fingertips.

"When's the last time you had a good night's sleep," I inquired, noticing her dark under eye circles.

"I can't sleep!" she screamed, terrifying me. "Every time I close my eyes, I see my child." My heart tugged, imaging what Chelsea had to be going through.

          I took Introduction to Psychology in college but nothing in that class covered what to do if someone was having a break with reality. Chelsea roughly rubbed at the sides of her face.

"Elle, I'm hurting so bad. Nothing stops it anymore."

            I stood up from my chair. It felt like tiny needles were pricking the bottom of my feet. Rounding my desk, I wrapped my arms around Chelsea shaking body.

"Shh," I whispered. "Everything will be alright. Trust me." I didn't know if my words were true but I didn't know what else to say. I wasn't in Chelsea's position. She kinda made me glad that I didn't go through with the abortion.

"But Elle-"

"Trust me," I repeated. I tensed when her hand lowered to rest on my slightly protruding stomach. Her cries died down to whimpers while her palm circled my belly.

            Sometimes all a person needs is to be held as they cry out their pain. I tightened my arms around Chelsea's body, giving her the time she needed. I wished there was more that I could do for her.

        After awhile, Chelsea was finally stable enough to have a therapy session with the center's psychologist. I sat in at her request. The psychologist mostly spoke with Chelsea and got her to look at her situation from a different perspective then set her up with regular appointments.

        I felt a bit territorial at first because Chelsea is my babes. I was used to her coming to me for advice but if she's getting the help she needed then I should be happy for her.

*            *            *

     The fuel gauge on my gas tank hovered closely over E. Rolling my eyes; I pulled into the Starbucks parking lot. A couple months ago, I wouldn't have had to think twice about filling up my tank but now it's a luxury.