You're a Mind Fuck, Babe

Chapter 44: Tell Me What Your Worst Fears Are, I Bet They Look A Lot Like Mine

I go back inside and see Gerard laying down on the couch. I take off my coat and my gloves and move towards him. I lean down and kiss his forehead. He pulls me over top of him and kisses me.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, breaking the kiss and leaning back a little. He opens his eyes and stares back at me. He moves a strand of my hair from my face and kisses my cheek.

"Don't ever feel bad about it. I've gone way too far sometimes and you haven't stopped me. I'm glad you did," Gerard says, he rubs my side and kisses me some more. I rub my thigh against his crotch and he moans. He bucks his hips into me and I groan. I move down and pull his pants off, exposing just how hard he is. He moves into a sitting position, giving me more room. I stroke his dick with my hand before taking him in my mouth. He slides his hands in my hair, tugging it. He tilts his head back and lets out a low groan. I lick his tip and remove my mouth from his dick, hovering over him. I slide my bottoms off slowly. He looks up at me, his lips curling into a smirk as I push into him. His eyes close and his mouth falls open. I rub my thumb on his bottom lip, wiping the little line of spit that was going to fall away. He grabs my wrist and pushes my fingers into his mouth, coating them in spit. I move out and back into him and he let's go of my wrist. My hand trails down his skin, from his jaw to his chest. I rub my thumb over his nipple, coating it in his own saliva before I tilt my head back. I grind my teeth together, trying not to be as quiet as possible and close my eyes. I roll my hips into him and he bites his lip. He reaches his hand forward and touches my cheek, forcing my eyes open and staring at him. He's got this look of pure ecstasy on his face as I continue to thrust in and out of him. His hand falls to my shoulders and grips them tightly. His facial expressions sending shivers down my spine and it doesn't take long before I come. I pull out, groaning and panting. I help Gerard find his release by stroking him slowly until he comes on his chest. He moans my name and arches his back. I pull on my pants and sit beside Gerard.

Fletcher starts crying and I walk over to him. I pick him up into my arms and I can already tell what the problem is. I go into the bathroom with him and lay a towel on the counter space beside the sink since we don't have a table anymore. I change his diaper and throw away the dirty one. I carry the little guy back out into the living room and I see Gerard sitting with his face in his hands.

"He's been gone for almost three hours and he's not answering. You don't think he left again, do you?" He asks me.

"Fuck, its not like I don't like the little guy but it's hard to deal with everyday when I have a fulltime job," Gerard shouts. Fletcher starts crying again and I start trying to calm him down.

"You don't think.... You don't think he did something to himself... Do you?" He asks.

"I don't think so," I reply, the thought hadn't really past through my mind.

Hours go by before Gerard's phone starts ringing. He answers it immediately without checking who it is. "Hello?" Gerard asks desperately.

"Where are you? What did you do? I'll be right there," Gerard says. He stands up and grabs his coat. His swings it over his arms and pulls on a hat. I put on my gloves and my coat. I pick up Fletcher. He passes me a scarf and I wrap it around my neck before we race out of his apartment. Once we get in the car, I ask him where we're going.

"The local bar," he replies, his voice stern and unimpressed. Gerard's driving to get to the bar is rough and unpleasant but fast and it doesn't take long to arrive. I see Mikey sitting in the alleyway beside the bar, puking. Gerard barely stops the car before jumping out to get his brother. He helps Mikey to his feet and carries him to set him in the backseat of the car.

Gerard is visibly upset and disappointed. Mikey reeks of alcohol and vomit. Mikey begins apologizing but Gerard gives him the cold shoulder. I can sense that there's something more going on behind the scenes that I haven't been told and it gets me wondering if Mikey was an alcoholic or something. We bring Mikey back to Gerard's and the whole drive back is full of Mikey crying and apologizing.

I can sense that they need some time alone so after I put Fletcher back in his crib, I turn and leave. I pass by an older couple on the stairs and almost bump into them. I whisper a sorry and continue on down the stairs. Once I get outside, I don't know where I want to go. Where can I go? I'm sure as hell not going to my mom's place. I haven't seen Ryan in awhile, maybe I should check in and see how he's doing.

When I get to Ryan's, I don't see any cars in the driveway and disappointment washes over me. He's probably not here. I head up to his front door anyway and knock a couple of times. I wait a minute or so and nobody answers. I try again. I sigh and turn to go back down the steps. I hear the door open and I turn around, I see Ryan.

"Frank!" He shouts with excitement. He grabs onto my scarf and pulls me into his house, closing the door behind me.

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