One of the boys

Masculinity

1.      Masculinity

“How far can you spit?” Andrew egged me on. Typically our Saturdays consisted of entertaining ourselves with anything we could think of.

“I don’t know. Maybe past two blocks,” I stated, bored. Andrew was sitting in Pacen’s red, beanbag chair as he glanced through a sports magazine. His blonde hair was pushed back with a head band. “Why are you wearing that again?” I pointed to his head and frowned.

He smiled, “I was playing zombies verses humans with the guys earlier.”

I gasped, “And you guys didn’t invite me? Bastards.” 

He smirked. “Well it was a spur of the moment game. We got you next time,” he said as he glanced at his black cell phone. “I’ve got to go, but I’ll catch up with you later.” He stood and strode across the room. I lay back against Pacen’s grey comforter and stared at the white ceiling. There were cracks in the paint. I followed the uneven pattern until Pacen returned from taking a shower.

“Where’s Andrew?” he asked as he shut the door.

I sat up and crossed my legs, watching him as he dried his black hair. “He said he needed to go, but he’d catch up with us later.” I lowered my eyes as he opened his underwear draw. My eyes made their way to his wooden framed picture of him and Amy, his current girlfriend. They’d been together for a few months now. I rolled my eyes before flopping back down on the mattress.

“Alright. I have to meet up with Ames, so I’ll see you later too.” He patted my hair before walking off into the closet. I rolled off the bed and straightened my green basketball shorts as I left his room. Springfield, Massachusetts wasn’t exactly the funniest town. Firstly, you needed a car to get around and if you had one, you needed exciting friends. But lately everyone was more focused on their relationships than spending “bro-time” with me.

I drove to my brown, bricked home and sat in my living room with the lights off and the television on as back ground noise. My parents were having their anniversary dinner so I was on my own for food. I checked my social media networks for any updates, but there were none. Everyone was out, but me. I decided to go for a run maybe then this foggy unsettling feeling would fade.

 “Come on Abby!” Pacen yelled at me. I rushed out of my quiet home, picking my hair up into a messy ponytail. My dad managed to get his car door torn off after my parents dinner date was done. I guess he learned that kissing while the door is open isn’t such a smart, romantic gesture after all. I had to lend him my car while his was being repaired. Today was the last day of junior year, and the final day of school always meant flag football on the field with the guys. I hurried into Pacen’s silver mustang, which he swore was the coolest car and part of me couldn’t disagree. The guys always ragged on him for having such a “girly” car, but it meant a lot to him since his grandfather had given it to him before passing away three years ago. I hopped into the front seat and he drove off to High School of Commerce. Our high school building was ancient. It was a tall and wide building that consisted of red and white bricks, which yellowed over the years. Sometimes I liked to pretend it was a building that belonged in Hogwarts.

Pacen pulled into State Street and parked in his usual spot. In front of the staircase that led to the gym. I glanced over to him and studied his curly black hair. His bright blue eyes skimmed along the dashboard. His cheekbones were angular and sharp, jetting out against his skin as if they’d rip his cheeks open. His lips were thin, but red, so brightly red against the paleness of his skin. “What are you looking at?”