Instructions

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4.       Instructions

I spent the weekend in bed avoiding society. I felt too upset to go out or see anyone and too confused to interact with the guys. Sunday morning my mother came into my bedroom and asked me if I felt well. Did I? Or was I going to let this ruin and control my whole life? I told her that I was just tired then she left.

I could hear loud music playing from Pacen’s room next door. What the hell. I rolled out of bed, groggily, and looked outside my window. Pay was dancing in his room shirtless. I stood there admiring the ripples and pulls of his muscles as he moved. I sighed. He was always so charismatic.

I must have dozed off because now Pacen stared at me with a smirk. “Stalking me now, Abs?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Definitely not,” I shook my head.

He smiled genuinely. “Just rolled out of bed?”

Oh gods! I hadn’t looked at myself before talking to him. I must’ve looked like a mess. He chuckled as he realized my panicking. “Don’t worry, you look fine, Abs. It’s nice to see the old you once in a while,

he sounded disappointed.

“What do you mean,” I asked curious.

“Abby . . .” He began.

“Pacen,” I heard his mother’s voice. He frowned and slammed his hands on the window sill before looking up at me.

“I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“Can’t,” I answered frowning.

“Why not,” his eyebrows arched together.

“Because I’m going out with Devin,” I said.

“Oh,” he glanced down.

“Pacen,” his mother said abrasively. He stood straight and walked off without another word. Maybe things between Pacen and I would never be the same.

“Thanks again for taking me out Devin,” I said as he parked in front of my house.

“Did you have fun?” He smiled.

I nodded. “Yeah, I’ve never gotten so many strikes in bowling before. You might just be my lucky charm.” I pinched his arm. Maybe being with Devin wouldn’t be that hard. Maybe I could actually move on.

He laughed, “does that mean I get special treatment now?”

I leaned forward and closed the space between our faces. “Hmm, maybe,” I said before pressing my lips to his. He placed his hand on the back of my neck bringing me closer. I enjoyed kissing Devin sometimes because it felt safe, but sometimes I felt hollow like I wasn’t doing something right. Devin broke the kiss and smiled.

“Do you like me, Abby?”

 “Yeah, uh, why,” I half lied.

He stared out the windshield. “I don’t know . . . I just feel like . . .” He paused, “wait. Is there someone watching us?”

My eyes followed the direction of his. There was someone watching us from the front of Pacen’s house, but it didn’t look like Pay. I squinted trying to get a better look. Is that . . . Andrew? “Night Devin,” I said unbuckling myself from the seat.

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