Fourteen: Jin

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June 13, 2019
Busan, South Korea

"Jin, can I get another Louis bag? I can't find mine."

I look up from League of Legends of my phone and my eyes settle on Min-hee's small form. She stands in the middle of our hotel room, hands on her hips, looking around at the floor.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"The cross strap you got me last month, remember?" Her voice is tense, I can hear the frustration in her voice. Whether it's frustration with the bag or with me, I don't know. "I can't find it. I've been looking all over the place."

My brows furrow. "Did you leave it in France? I thought you had it on the flight."

"I don't know," she retaliates.

"How could you lose an entire bag? You had it yesterday."

"I don't know!" she says again. She crosses her arms over her chest and stares at me, her stance and voice both defensive." "Why are you getting mad at me?"

"That's an expensive bag, Min-hee. I'm not buying you another one. You shouldn't have lost that one."

"Are you saying you don't have enough money for it?"

My eyes snap back up to her. I shut my eyes and take a deep breath to calm myself. The last thing I need two days before Muster is to be fighting with my soulmate. I need to be at my best.

"It's not about how much money I have," I say calmly. "The bag is more than two thousand dollars, Min-hee. Do you not understand that? That money could be going to much more important things."

"Are you saying my happiness isn't important?" she digs back.

"If your happiness isn't with me, maybe you should reevaluate your priorities," I snap.

She gasps and moves her mouth to speak, but I cut her off completely.

"You're claiming that you've lost a bag you sweet-talked me into buying for you! This isn't the first designer thing you've 'lost,' Min-hee! This, only two weeks after fighting with one of my best friends right in front of me? Don't you think you're stepping out of line?"

She scoffs, completely appalled that I would call her out on her behavior recently. "You're supposed to stand with me!"

"Do you ever think of anyone but yourself?!" I shout at her.

She jumps at the volume of my voice; the sound startles me as well. I'm not one to yell, even when I'm very upset. I've reach my boiling point with her.

"Jin—!"

"Stop calling me that!" I cry. "My name is Seokjin! For the love of God, at least call me by my name!" I pause to breathe, but I'm nowhere near done with her. "Why don't you see that I can't keep giving and giving only for you to keep taking from me! I stand with you all the time, I can't remember a single time where I've stood up to you when we've disagreed. For once, I'd like for you to think of me. Stand by me, just like I do for you all the time! I need your support. I don't live this cushy, easy life of singing and shopping and traveling like everyone thinks. I work my ass off every single day, only to come back from working to someone who doesn't care about anyone but herself! I need you to stand with me, too! I need you to wake up and realize that I need you to support me so I can just keep walking after every day!"

She's silent, stricken. My chest heaves from the shouting, from tears I didn't realize were falling down my face. We've argued before, everyone does (except maybe Jungkook and Hope), but it's never been like this. I huff and march to the door.

"S-Seokjin, wait—"

"No," I say firmly, holding up my hand to silence her again. "I need some time away."

I sigh as I unlock the door to my room. It's late at the time I return from dinner with Taehyung to cool off. Nearly two in the morning, but I open the door to see the room still flooded with light. Min-hee sits on the bed, facing the door. My heart tightens at the sight of her waiting state. She's still wearing her clothes from the day. We make eye contact.

She opens her mouth to talk to me, but I hold up a hand just as I did earlier.

"Please don't say anything," I tell her. "I don't think I can take it."

"I just wanted to apologize," she says softly.

I simply sigh, removing my clothes to get comfortable to sleep. I don't respond.

"Really, I'm sorry."

"I hear you," I say.

"Do you?"

"Do you?" I face her again, aggravation from earlier clogging my brain like emotional constipation.

She swallows and looks down at her hands in her lap. "I didn't want to hurt you. I...I've never wanted to hurt you."

"Well it feels like that's all you've been doing anymore." I sit down on one of the chairs in the room, my body turned away from her. The leather is cold on my exposed skin, but I ignore it. The last thing I want right now is to be next to her.

We sit in silence for another few moments until I hear her moving around. I hear footsteps as they come closer to me. I feel her soft hands, gentle as they glide over my broad shoulders and touch my skin. I settle into her touch, my muscles relaxing in her hold no matter how hurt I am. Her chest presses against my back in an embrace, her head on my shoulders, and I lean my head back to rest against her.

"We both have to try," I say softly. "Just because we're soulmates doesn't mean this will be easy. It takes effort. We have to want this."

Min-hee is quiet. Her arms tighten around me and I feel her lips graze my skin. The feeling erupts goosebumps in the wake of her touch. It's a feeling I haven't had with her since the very beginning.

I turn my body in the chair to face hers. Our eyes meet and we simply stare at each other for a few moments.

"I love you," I tell her, only sincerity in my voice.

She swallows, her eyes analyzing every aspect of my face before she finally whispers, "I love you, too."

In a moment, our lips touch. Softer than silk are hers against mine. Her kiss makes me feel like I'm floating up into the sky. I forget that we fought, I forgive her, and I'm floating into the bliss that comes with love. I'm sure it's a feeling I'll only have for my soulmate.

I wonder if she feels the same way I do.

I wonder if she feels the same way I do when my fingers caress her head and neck as we kiss. I wonder if she feels the way I do when I lift her body carefully into my arms. I wonder if she feels the same when we're hidden beneath the covers, skin against skin, moving together in the blankets of silk and sweat. I wonder how she feels when I kiss her this way, in ways I've never kissed anyone before.

I wonder for a moment what it is I feel. I wonder where this doubt comes from.

But I push it out of my mind as I push my body against hers.

My soulmate. Together forever. Meant to be.

I push out the bit of dread that sinks in my chest at that thought.

oh jin...what are you getting yourself into

how have you all been?!? it feels like it's been forever since i uploaded a proper chapter hehe

how do you feel after this chapter? guess who's coming next >:)

i love you all so much and even tho my life is lowkey falling apart right now, i wanted to update for you all. it's this book and all of you that's keeping me sane right now.

thank you for your loooveeee

cay💕

1357 words

ps: that photo is hot i die every time for jin in that stars top alsdhfkals ok bye bye

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