Soulmate

Forty One: Ophelia

February 25, 2020
Seoul, South Korea

10 minutes until contact. 

I clutch my album and my grandma's picket fan to my chest. 

I could throw up right now. 

Or cry. 

Probably both. 

Hoseok's glowing. His laugh can be heard even in the back of the venue where I stand. He plays with every ARMY. How can he look like he's having the time of his life with every person? Maybe he is. Looking at him is putting my heart at ease, as he always does. 

Taehyung's smile next to him is lighting up the entire room. He holds every ARMY's hands, plays with their hair, stares right into their eyes. I'm nervous about that eye contact. 

Yoongi listens intently to every word each fan says to him. He watches until they stop talking and only when he replies does he start to sign their gift. He's so intentional with each interaction. 

Namjoon's like a breath of fresh air. He sits in the center of the table line the eye in the hurricane of this day. I know when he takes my hand, as he seems to do with every ARMY, I'll feel instantly calmer. He's always brought incomparable comfort. 

Jimin's standing out in his own special way. He flirts a little bit with each person he sees. He makes sure not to leave the audience out and in every spare second, he poses for pictures and teases the audience. I can tell even from the distance that he's purely playful, but nothing stops him from flashing a charming smile and playing with innocent fans' fingers like a boyfriend would. He would kill my grandmother if she ever met him. 

Jungkook sits second to last. He's still cute and innocent looking even at his age. He giggles with each ARMY, trying on their hats and graciously signing albums before squeezing their hands and saying a quick goodbye. Seeing him reminds me that we're the same age, reminds me that I've grown up the same as him. I'm excited to tell him we're so close in age. 

I can hardly even look at Jin at the end of the table. Even from my distance, I can see that he's easily one of the most handsome men I've ever seen. How can he be more handsome in person? I'm supposed to stand next to that face for the rest of my life? What if he's not ready for me? What if he rejects me? What if he thinks I'm ugly? 

I return my eyes to Hoseok so I can forget my fears. It works instantly. 

—

typing this chapter up made me actually realize it. they're actually going to meet...

even though i'm the one writing it, i can't believe it's finally happening. 

cay💕 

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