I took a test about emotional traps. My main emotional trap is "emotional deprivation". With a pinch of social confinement and a bit of high standards. As in I am an arrogant wicked spinster that's unable to have a social life.
It goes like this: "at the very basis you feel you are chronically disappointed in others and they will keep on disappointing you. It's not just a single case. Your conclusion, as a consequence of your past, is that you can't relay on people from an emotional point of view. It's such a sad awareness. Since you have experienced such an emotional lack you are afraid to be vulnerable in front of others and to ask people what you need. Emotional abandonment is a fundamental part of your intimate relationships but, at least in part, this abandonment depends on your inability to ask what you really want. In order to avoid the pain of deprivation you focus on the way others let you down, you can easily think of the rage you felt in the past, but not the pain".
And I think it means: it's your fault because you demand that people understand you but don't want to tell them how to do it; you say to yourself: "it should be easy right? It's crystal clear!" Yes, I'm deeply convinced if they cared even a little they could easily grab the concept. They could at least let me be if they're not willing to try to REALLY UNDERSTAND. Is it so hard to imagine yourself in someone else's shoes? Are you really so incapable of abstracting yourself? It seems so.You are not evil but you are now made wicked and cynical. That would be me, yes.
It's perfect, don't you think? A friend of mine took the test as well and said: do not just read your emotional trap percentages; if you read the description below it's like a thud. And it's true: it hit me silently but heavily. It's a thud!
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A diary
RandomThe things I think, they're usually very sad, apparently I'm not in a good place in this period. Even when nobody will read them, they'll be out there. Featuring Bts because I spend a lot of time doing stuff related to them and I'm pretty sure I'm...