New year.
I am exhausted.
Sometimes I find myself thinking: I should be put into an induced coma and enjoy the unconsciousness, then wake up thinner, happier and rested. 'Cause one's gotta tell the truth: consciousness is THE enemy. The more you know the more powerless you are.
I haven't read books for a long time, when I was younger I spent a lot of my time reading, I read in class and got scolded by the teachers even. Then I stopped and became one of those millennials children of their time, all focused and ignited just by video stimuli; reading was too slow and people always wrote about irrelevant details just so they could get to a certain number of pages, in order to be called a novelist instead of a short stories writer.
But the other day I bought a Christmas present for my aunt, who loves reading very much. I did a little research on "the best books of 2019 so far" and found out about Ottessa Moshfegh's "My year of rest and relaxation". It is the story of a 26 year old orphan girl who decides to sleep her life out for an entire year in order to wake up and forget about her painful past, or better: to be able to live her life without being dragged down by the weight of her painful past memories. She takes drugs, she is an insensitive bitch, she's rich and beautiful and has a bad relationship with an asshole and she doesn't appreciate her best friend, whom she despises.
I am not beautiful, I am not rich, I don't have the problem of a bad relationship since I've never even had one, I don't despise my best friends and I don't take drugs to sleep my life out but I'd like to. Also I had an "idea" that already had an entire book written about it.
I want to feel calm and relaxed, like when it's summer and the sun is setting down, you are lying on a beach and there's the wind caressing your skin and you are tired but content. Like when... I am a fucking stereotype you could say! Give me a vacation and it'll all be good as new. But I want to feel like when you are fine and you say to yourself: "that's enough to be good, I don't need much".
YOU ARE READING
A diary
RandomThe things I think, they're usually very sad, apparently I'm not in a good place in this period. Even when nobody will read them, they'll be out there. Featuring Bts because I spend a lot of time doing stuff related to them and I'm pretty sure I'm...
