Mirrors

Chapter Thirty Six

***Trigger Warning:  The following chapter discusses self harm***

**This chapter is particularly long due to its intensity.  I didn't want to break it up and ruin the scene and feeling that I was building**

She was coming out of the kitchen with a plate full of food.

"Like nachos? And jalapeno bites?" She asked, placing the plate on the coffee table. "It's kind of all I've got."

"That's fine." Niall fiddled with the razor blades in his hand. He really didn't want to ask her. He watched as she brought out some glasses. She was wearing shorts, so her legs were probably not the location. The long-sleeved shirts, though, answered his question of why she had been wearing them. "Edie?"

She looked up at him as she placed the drinks on the table. "Yes?"

"Aren't you hot?"

"What do you mean?"

"Your shirt. It's kind of warm in here. Aren't you hot?"

She looked down at her shirt, pulling on them a little. His hunch was right. Niall closed his eyes hoping to just skip this part but he knew he couldn't. He opened his eyes again, she was still standing there, looking gorgeous in the lamp light. She nearly took his breath away. He knew he had been developing some sort of feelings for her, but suddenly his chest ached with dread, knowing he was probably about to lose her again.

"I, uhh," he stuttered, "I, uh, found these..." He raised his hand up and let her see the razors. Her eyes grew wide. "Push your sleeve up," he said, his voice cracking.

"Niall..." Her own voice cracked, and her mouth twisted.

"Push your sleeve up, Edie." She shook her head. He saw tears welling up in her eyes and tears began forming in his. With a little more force between gritted teeth, he said, "Push your sleeve up."

She kept shaking her head. He walked up to her and grabbed her hand. She tried to stop him but he wouldn't allow it. The first arm was clean. He grabbed her other arm and he felt her wince. He pushed her sleeve up and his heart broke at the sight. Her arm was laced with cut marks.

"Did you just do this?" He asked, looking up into her eyes.

"What? No."

"When was the last time you did this?"

"Yesterday."  She wouldn't look at him.

"That's the last time you do it, you hear me? You never do this again or I will tell whoever I have to tell to make sure you get the help you need." He grabbed her arms to make her look at him. "You hear me? I'm throwing these away. Now."

He let go of her and walked into the kitchen to throw them away. "No! Niall, don't. Please don't throw them away. I need them!" She said racing behind him.

She tried to snatch them from him, but he held them away from her. "You don't need them, Edie. You only think you do." She kept trying to reach his hand, but he was taller than her.

"You don't understand!" She practically screeched.

"I don't understand?" At first, Niall was hurt that she'd be so inconsiderate, but he also knew she wasn't thinking properly. But then he got mad, "I don't understand?!" He slammed his hand down, knowing full well the razors he held had just landed in his open palm. She jumped at his action and noticed when he winced.

"Niall, are you okay?" She asked, panicked.

"No, Edie, I'm not. I'm no more okay than you are." She tried to pick up his hand, but he wouldn't let her. "Don't even think about trying to con your way into getting these from me."