The Class Agreement

21

I was awake extra early for school. I showered, made myself a decent breakfast and even had time to just lounge around for a few minutes before leaving, but I know why I'm awake and moving faster than the world. My anxiety has double since last night.

Making out with Athena is the highlight of these past two years of hell I've gone through, but I knew with kissing her would come negative effects. I'm scared and nervous for several reasons. And I think I'm more scared of her and how she's going to treat me from here on out.

I don't want it to be awkward between us. Nor do I want it to be uncomfortable or forced. Now that the impossible has happened, what happens next?

As I got closer to the classroom, my heart started beating faster. I was half-listening to Tommy, completely tuning him out at one point. He was making my anxiety spike even more.

We walked into the classroom to see Athena wasn't here yet. My heart returned to its normal rhythm.

I sat in my seat, still hearing Tommy rambling about God knows what. I was close to telling him to shut the hell up until Athena walked in. I watched as she placed her computer bag down on her desk. She's back in her professional clothing, preparing her stuff.

I took a deep breath, getting a grip.

There's no reason to worry so hard.

When the final bell rang, everyone was already in their seats. Athena took her place in front of the room. Her eyes jumped around and I noticed she didn't even look at me. It made me sink in my seat.

She spoke loudly, "Good morning everyone. I apologize about missing class yesterday, I was running late. We're going to continue where we left off on Monday."

I sighed softly to myself, trying not to make it seem like I'm actually annoyed she didn't give me any sort of attention.

Stop acting like a baby Nova. We're in school.

She started her lecture and I watched her. She's a completely different person when teaching. Yesterday she was Athena. Today she's Ms. Frost. It's weird how I get to see that side of her that's supposed to be personal. No one else does. No one is aware that it exists. Most of us don't think teachers have a real-life or personality outside of school.

Never in my life did I ever imagine myself liking a teacher, let alone making out with them. I can't imagine how Athena actually feels. She's probably embarrassed and disgusted with herself. Putting myself in her shoes, she probably feels perverted.

It's not like I'm a child though ...

My thoughts were making me sad and extremely uncomfortable. There's nothing I wanted to do more than hide. I know Athena stole glances at me whenever I wasn't looking. At this point, I couldn't bring my eyes to watch her and listen to her lecture. My anxiety was starting to really take over.

My palms were getting clammy and I felt my shirt starting to stick to my body. I took a few deep breaths trying to put myself at ease. The last time I had an anxiety attack was ages ago. When I was younger I couldn't tell the difference between me getting angry and me having an anxiety attack.

Now it's more defined and definitely more annoying.

I shuffled in my seat trying not to make too much noise. Athena and I made eye contact as she was speaking. Her facial expression twisted into something different. I couldn't read the emotion. I was honestly too busy trying to ground myself.

She continued to talk and slowly started to walk down the column of desks. She stopped next to me and gently placed her hand on my shoulder. I almost grabbed it, but quickly remembered we're in class. I could feel several eyes on me. Including Tommy's.