The Class Agreement

5

115.

116.

117.

118.

119.

120.

I slowly push myself off my bedroom floor and take a few deep breaths. Sweat drips down my forehead. I feel the wetness under my armpits and down my back. My hair is up in a high bun.

120 push-ups, sit-ups and squats complete. I'm trying not to do too much since tomorrow Tommy and I are working out at the school gym.

I walk out of my room and into my bathroom next door. I quickly strip and look at myself in the mirror above the counter.

I've come a long way since I've first started working out. I used to be pretty skinny and odd-looking. I was always "too boyish for my feminine face". That's what people used to say to me. I believed them.

I flex my arms in the mirror, looking at my biceps and triceps. My shoulders have gotten wider over the years and my stomach abs have gotten more chiseled, but not to the point where it looks fake and weird. My boobs are still boobs for the most part contrary to popular belief.

I look down at my legs. Calves are in check. Thighs are great. My butt is clearly bigger, not that's it really a big deal to me anyway. I'm just about happy with my body. Now all there is is to maintain it.

I lean over my counter and stare directly at my reflection. The permanent scar slicing my right eyebrow. My green eyes looking like stone. Sometimes I don't recognize myself. Sometimes I see just my parents. Sometimes ... I don't see anything.

I get my shower started with warm water. I face the showerhead, letting the water hit me dead on. It always feels so good to rinse off sweat. It never fails to refresh me.

I undo my hair and let it fall down my back.

Willow kissing her girlfriend, or whoever she is to her, pops in my head.

I have so many regrets with Willow. I wish I could turn back time and do things differently. She was a great girlfriend. She's actually my first ever girlfriend. She accepted me for who I was and made me feel comfortable in my skin.

I knew the day would come where she would end up with somebody else. I just can't believe that I witnessed it so close with my own two eyes. Knowing this makes me happy that we don't have any classes together and that we don't run into each other. It would just be more awkward for me.

I guess there's no point in filling her in about everything now. I don't think I want her to know. I've caused enough worrying and pain in her life. I wouldn't want to continue the cycle. Maybe it's a good thing that we're not together anymore.

✸✸✸

Tommy and I sat in our seats. Ms. Frost isn't here yet. There are a few students here with us too.

Today Tommy has his hair up in a small ponytail. His shorter curls are hanging free. He has this one curl in the front that makes him look like a rip off Superman. His black gym bag is on the ground next to him.

"You alright?" He asked.

I gave him a strange look, "I don't look alright?"

He shook his head, "Your vibes' kinda off today man."

"Really? I don't think so."

He stared at me harder, "If you say so. I can't wait to stare at the Mona Lisa together."