Afraid // Jaeyong // Texting ff

50. It hurts

Johnny POV

When I arrived at Taeyongs apartment I felt weird just going inside, so I rang the bell.
Nothing.
I opened the door with the key and slowly walked inside. I didn't know where to go so I just looked into the kitchen and hallway until I saw shoes in front of a closed door. Jaehyuns shoes. I knocked but nobody answered.
"Jaehyun? It's me Johnny."
No answer. Carefully I opened the door and looked inside. Jaehyun was lying on the bed, hugging a pillow with his eyes closed.
"Hey." I closed the door and walked towards the bed. "Are you awake?" No reaction. But I knew he could hear me. "How are you feeling?"
"It still smells like him." "What?" He didn't open his eyes or move at all. "His bed still smells like him." I sat down on a little sofa and looked at my best friend. He had cried before I got here. "He won't die, Jaehyun." "But what if he does?" He opened his eyes and they were red, as if he had cried all day. "What if he dies? I wouldn't survive that and you know it."
"He won't." "Johnny, they're turning the machines off! They're basically telling us to plan his funeral." "He could still wake up. Sometimes patients wake up after they're cut off of live support." He looked at me and I couldn't tell what was going on inside of his head, which was rare. "Jae you have to come back with me."
"No." "Listen to me okay? Do you know how much his siblings are suffering right now? Doyoung just told me that Yerim screamed at him saying she'd never let Taeyong die amd stormed out and Jaemin said exactly two sentences since the doctor was there." He just stared at the wall, not even acknowledging what I just said. "Jaehyun, we need to be there for each other right now. I know you're hurting but so are the others. We need each other."
"You just said Yerim stormed out. Why is she allowed to leave but I have to go back?"
"What?" "No seriously I used to work for him and we dated for what? Three months? I'm not important to the people in this room but Taeyong is to me. Do you know how much this hurts? I feel like someone stabbed me and ripped my insides out of my body to feed them to wild dogs! I can't breathe Johnny! It hurts so much and it will never ever stop if they turn these machines off!" "Every single person in Taeyongs hospital room asked me where you are and if you're safe today. Maybe you don't know them very well but they know what you mean to him, so they care about you. Don't you want to spend as much time with Taeyong as possible if they really do decide to... turn them off?" He hugged the pillow and closed his eyes again, as if he suddenly ran out of energy. "I don't know. I don't want to lose him." I took off my shoes and laid back on the sofa. "You won't lose him, I know that. But if you want to stay here I'm staying with you." "Can I sleep? Just for a few minutes."
My best friend sounded like he was almost asleep and I smiled in relief. I couldn't remember the last time he had actually slept. "Of course. Take as much time as you need." "You might wanna answer Ten... he's been texting you nonstop." I looked at my phone in surprise and he was right. 17 messages from Ten and two from Doyoung. After all, Jaehyun was still my best friend and knew me better than anyone else.

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I wrote this a few months ago so please don't get any ideas. I know I've been kind of quiet here about the black lives matter movement but know I'm not in rl. So everyone please:
Sign petitions, donate if you can, if you can't you can always watch videos where the earnings get donated, go to protests if you can, never stop talking about this it's way too important to get swept under the rug.
Do not stay silent and do whatever is possible for you but do something!!