Afraid // Jaeyong // Texting ff

21. doing... stuff

Taeyong POV

"Hey, I'm back!" Jaemin came bursting into the apartment and Jaehyun and I broke apart, I looked at him, panicked.
"He's already here?" Jaehyun looked about as calm as I felt and I looked at my watch. "It's eleven. Jesus Christ, it's a school night." "No it's not." "Right!"
We laughed and I got up from his bed. "We... uhm... we should talk about what happened just now." "We made out." I smiled and took his hand. "I know. What I mean is we should talk about us."
"Taeyong?!" My little brother interrupted me and I let go of Jaehyuns hand. "I should go say hi to him. Maybe come to my room later?" He nodded his head. "Yeah okay." "Taeyong!" "I'm here!" I went into the hallway and Jaemin came out of my room. "Hey! Where were you?"
"In Jaehyuns room, we were... talking."
"Okay. Well I just wanted to tell you I'm back and I'm sleeping at Jeno's tomorrow if that's okay." We went into the kitchen and I looked at my phone. "We're decorating Yerims room tomorrow." "Right! I knew I forgot something. Okay then I'll leave when we're done?" "Yeah sure."
He opened the fridge and just looked at it for a few seconds. "Did you not have dinner?" I stood next to him and looked at the few items in our fridge. Wow we did not have a lot of food. "No, Jeno and I were ...busy." I got a notepad and started making a grocery list. "Doing what?" He blushed. "Doing... stuff."
I blinked and turned away. "You can order something if you want to. I'll pay." "That would be great thank you! Do you want something too?" "No I'm not hungry. But please ask Jaehyun I'm not sure if he had dinner." "Okay."
I put some money on the counter and went into the bathroom to take a shower.

—

When I came back into my room, Jaehyun was sitting on the small couch next to my desk, looking at his phone. "Hey." I rubbed my hair with a towel to dry it and he looked at me, smiling.
"Hey!" He grabbed my hand and pulled me closer.
"I... I'm not really good at stuff like this... but I also can't do this for much longer. I really have feelings for you and... being this close to you without being with you is killing me." I started stroking his hair and we smiled at each other, he looking a little more anxious than I did.
"I like you too Jaehyun. And I really want to be with you." "Why do I feel like you're gonna say but?" He whispered and leaned his head against my belly.
"But." "Knew it." I couldn't help but chuckle.
"It's... it just seems so impossible. We're not allowed to, by contract. And we're both men, in Korea and I'm in the entertainment industry. It's impossible."
"No it's not! I'm so glad you said that and not that you don't like me or something. Because we can make it work! We can make it all work!"
He took my other hand into his hand. "We'll just keep it secret. We won't tell anybody! I mean I'll probably tell my best friend Johnny, but he'll be the only one!"
I laughed and he got up. "You can only tell him if I can tell my best friend. Well my two best friends." "Does that mean yes?" I looked at my feet. "I don't know... it shouldn't be this complicated, you know? I just wish we could fall in love and be together, without having to hide from everyone, including the people we love. I mean I know that's never gonna happen for me because I'm an idol and I'm also gay... wait what was my point?"
"I honestly don't know. But you just said it, dating is always gonna be hard for you. It might as well be hard with me." I laughed and put my arms around his neck. "Alright. Let's do it." "Seriously?" He smiled and I nodded my head.
"But you gotta know, you're in for a ride."
"I know and I can't wait."

• • •

yo I'm so done I just wanna quit everything while I still can someone get me outta here